Helpless when she smiles [Sam Drake x plusSize!Reader]

Chapter 42

You stood in the front of the mirror, only in your bra and underwear. You stared at the tired figure who was staring you back at the reflection.

You knew you were big on your over seven month's pregnancy stomach, but somehow now it hit you how big you truly were. And because you already were overweight before the pregnancy, your reflection made you feel really sad.

You had now more stretch marks on your stomach. Dark red marks covering your already scarred skin. You had tried to grease your skin, but it was no use.

You turned to see what your side profile looked like. But you sighed deeply as you saw more stretch marks on your sides.

Your breasts were bigger since they had started to produce milk. You wondered how much you had gained weight during your pregnancy, especially when you were carrying two little human being inside you. Yes, the nurses had weighed you on your appointments but you had shut the information outside, you didn't want to know how much you had gained weight.

You let your hands wander on your sides on your huge bump. You let your fingertips to trace those stretch marks on your skin, and you shivered when you felt how deep they were. You closed your eyes and swallowed, so your tears won't push through.

Your weight and what you looked were your weak spot, they always were. Even now everything had happened because of the pregnancy, you still felt really insecure and sad about the way you looked. You wondered how Sam had even never fell in love with you in the first place, you were fat, ugly and he could have any other woman that he could ever want.

Soon you heard how the bedroom door got open, and you saw in the mirror how Sam peeked behind the door inside, and you lowered your gaze to the floor.

Without saying anything, Sam stepped inside to the bedroom as you took your nightshirt and put it on you, covering your red striped body, wiping your cheeks from the tears what managed to escape.

Sam walked behind you, wrapped his hands around your body, putting his huge palms on your tummy and leaning his chin on your shoulder. He knew how you were struggling with the way you looked, and he tried to assure you that you were even more beautiful than ever, how you glowed.

"What is in your mind?" Sam whispered and you shrug your shoulders a little.

You looked down at Sam's hands, but Sam looked at you two's reflection in the mirror.

Sam brought his lips near your ear.

"Look at us."

You raised your gaze to the mirror, seeing how Sam leaned on your shoulder, his hands wrapped around you, keeping them on your tummy.

"Why you love me?" You asked, hearing how your voice was cracking and tears were again rolling down your cheeks. Sam smiled gently at you, looking into your eyes through the reflection and let his thumbs smooth your bump.

"Because you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You are beautiful, kind and you have the biggest and warmest heart I have ever seen. Your smile is the brightest in the world, your eyes are the deepest and your love is the most purest."

You swallowed when you tried to hold your tears, but you failed and they rolled slowly down your cheeks. You wished you could see yourself the way he saw you, but you saw only all the mistakes and bad things in you. Especially in these days when your mind was down when you were really tired and the anxiety was haunting you.

"You are my little kitten, who has a tiger inside her. You are sweet and cute but you are also strong and gorgeous who always want to protect your loved ones."

You couldn't help but smile when Sam called you that. Every time he said to you that you were his little kitten or tiger, you felt little better and the stretch marks got different meaning in you than a sign of being fat.

"You know I love you more than anything?" He whispered and gave you a little kiss on your cheek, and somehow you had a bad feeling about it. His tone was worried and you could sense from it a little fear, and you wondered why. But you nodded slowly, and Sam gave you another kiss on your cheek, keeping his eyes on the mirror and the reflection of you two.

- On the next day... -

"What?!" You screamed and looked at Sam in disbelief.

"You can't be serious!" You continued while feeling how tears started to burn your eyes. You stood in the kitchen, you were cutting some apples to yourself to snack, you had a knife in your hand and you squeezed the handler.

Sam was standing in the dining room, frown on his face when he looked at you. You knew there was something going on when he has been acting weirdly for the last couple of days, but you were hoping it was just being nervousness when the labor was getting closer and closer - you never expected that it would be something like this.

"I have to go, babe, we need money so I can be here when the babies are born." He said to you, trying to assure you that it needed to be done.

His friend, Chloe Frazer, had called him that she needed his help with some artifact in Egypt. The job would take him two to three weeks. Two to three weeks that he would spend on the other side of the world. Sam had tried to figure out in the last few days how to tell you that, he didn't want you to freak out even he knew that it would be how you were going to react.

"Sam, the babies can come in any day now!"

"Doctor said twins born normally after 35 or 36 weeks, and I'll be back before that."

"You do remember also that stress can start the labor? What if it starts and you are not here, that you are on the other side of the world? What if you miss your own kids' birth, Sam?" You yelled, waving your hands, still the knife in your hand.

"Babe, put the knife down before you hurt yourself," Sam said worriedly when he looked how you waved your hands, fearing that you accidentally cut yourself with the knife. You sighed and put the knife down on the counter, putting your other hand on your tummy.

"What if something happens to you? What if you... die?" You said quietly while tears rolled down your cheeks. You were afraid that something happens to him and you ended to raise your kids alone. And you knew you couldn't do that. You needed Sam, the babies needed Sam.

Especially after your accident, you were more terrified if Sully calls him to another dangerous job. The accident made you scare more these trips what Sam made with Sully. And the fact that now he wouldn't even go with him, that he goes with Chloe and Nadine, and you haven't even met neither of them, so you didn't trust them at all.

"I promise, nothing happens to me. I'll be back before the babies will be born." Sam walked around the counter, embraced you and pressed you against his chest while giving a long kiss on the top of your head.

You buried your face in his chest, letting your tears to wet his shirt while you grabbed his shirt with your hands.

"I can't do this without you." You whispered.

"And you won't need to. I'll be back sooner than you expect." Sam kissed softly your hair and started swinging you gently to a side to side.

You knew you two needed money. Almost everything Sam had on his savings went to the house and to repair it. And there was still stuff which you needed to buy to babies room. You knew it needed to be done, but still, you didn't want him to go.

"I don't want you to go." Your words were barely a whisper, and Sam kissed your head long once again before he whispered to you back:

"I don't want to go either, but I have to go."

"I know." You nodded against his chest.

"Elena and Nathan are close. They help you with anything, I'm sure you can move there until I come back so they are there to help full time."

You nodded your head, even you knew you that you would stay home and not to go there and be any trouble to them.

As you squeezed hard Sam against you, you wished from the bottom of your heart, that the babies won't choose to come until Sam was back. Nothing wouldn't be worse than that Sam would miss his babies birth.