Fear & Love

Thirty One

Gitanjali washed her feet, changed her clothes and went outside to mop the mess her feet had made. The rain outside had calmed a bit and breezy air was all around the apartment. The maid was in the kitchen preparing something for Gita. Gita moved towards the mop when Anand signed her to stop and dismissed the maid. The maid protested saying only five minutes were left and the dish will be ready but a glare from Anand was enough for to leave. Anand went to the room and dismissed Priti and Prakash as well. They both gave awkward nods to Gita understanding that their boss was not in good mood and Gita was to bear the brunt of it.

Anand didn't have to speak for Gita to know that now she should start cleaning. Gita had no reservation over the cleaning part. It was her home and if she walked with dirty steps, she knew she has to clean it. However, she understood that Anand mind it if she takes the mop infront of his employees. His fake pride would get hurt. He had a standard to maintain and he believed so did his wife. Anand had never allowed her to do brooming, dusting before, he told her that he pays his staff for these tasks. The most he allowed was to arrange the cupboards. And even today, when he asked her to clean, he didn't want his employees seeing Gita mopping.

Gita took to cleaning the rooms and regretted having such a big apartment. Even though by the standard of Anand's family, it was small, the cleaning makes it 2X bigger. By the time she got done, she quickly went to kitchen, added the garnishing the maid left and quickly ate it. Anand was busy being a jerk in the office. He came out while on call and was yelling on the phone, calling someone "a dumb piece of shit." She felt sorry for the person on the other hand, it was her share of anger that someone was bearing. He glanced at her in the same anger and went back to the room.

The maids had come back an hour later to prepare the dinner. A knock was heard and the same maid came to her to tell her that the dinner was ready. Gita could see that the maid wanted to say something so she asked her to go ahead.

"Gita didi, how are you now? You were all wet from the rain. Are you feeling like cold?" The maid was in her forties and Gita found it funny how called her 'didi'. Infact, the entire staff was elder to her but as she ruled out the option of Ma'am, they chose to call her didi despite her being younger to all of them.

"No, Shanti didi. I am feeling good. No symptoms yet." Shanti was like the head of the maids here. More experienced and have worked with Anand for years.

"Didi, Anand Sir likes the home very clean and when you entered like that, I was more afraid of his reaction. Thank God, he didn't say anything to you." Shanti sighed in relief. Gita wanted to roll her eyes, yes right! He didn't say much, just some harsh words.

Gita had her dinner while talking to her Maa on the phone. Anand had gone somewhere and had not return yet. Her mother asked why she sounded a bit dull on call but Gita covered it up saying she was tired. How was she going to tell that her cleanliness loving husband was angry on her because she was a mess today? Moreover,  she was sure her mother would have blamed her. A lot of people around her were too conscious of the image and portrayal in the society. May be that's why Gita loved being around Isha and Ami more. They both were never 'image conscious' and didn't have to keep up with fake pride.

After her mother's call was done, Shaina,  her friend called up. Gita had to keep her book by the bedstand to listen about Shaina's new date and how it totally sucked! Gita laughed and told Shaina that it was not too bad and cheered her up.

"Thanks ya, Gitu. I was so upset because of that horrible guy, jerk! You made me feel so much better. Can we catch up next week?" Shaina asked in her normal voice, no more sounding upset as she was an hour before.

"Umm mostly yes, I can meet you." Gita said, still thinking about her schedule.

"No mostly and all. You have to be there. I don't want any excuses!" Shaina ordered Gita and being the scared cat Gita is, she agreed.

Talking to her mother and Shaina almost made her forget everything that had happened with Anand. Honestly, Gita didn't know if she was angry at him. More than angry, Gita was hurt. She had not yet processed the emotions she was feeling. She didn't like the way he chose to express his anger. He didn't even hear her!

She had always imagined her marriage to be different than others. Coming from a very ordinary and humble background, she had seen her parents argue and even heard her neighbours arguing in loud voices on trivial things which could be talked nicely and solved. Her calm nature, which she considered to be her biggest asset that convinced her that her and her partner can never get into such arguments. Small problems would be solved calmly and quietly in their home. Gita was always smug about it. Today, Anand didn't yell at her loudly and definitely nowhere close to the fights she had heard. But her smugness of her teenage years was mocking her. What happened to never getting into stupid arguments that are not worth it? The taste of life was getting to her. With all these thoughts, she drifted to sleep.

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Anand walked in their bedroom and saw his wife sprawled on the bed. He went to restroom and freshened up. When he came back, Gita had changed position but still occupied the bed. His ego was forcing him to just shut the lights and go to sleep in whatever space was left. But a part of him wanted to caress the face that got upset because of him, he took a strand of her hair that was on her face and tucked it back. She looked so lively while playing with the children in the rain and he withered the blooming flower. He pulled her closer to him and was in a deep thought.  He still didn't feel like he said anything wrong. He had zero tolerance for the mess she created earlier and dancing on road, he cringed at that thought. He wanted a wife who was perfect infront of the society and he did see these qualities in Gita. The wife who would  maintain his standard and respect. Moreover, Gita had a grace about her and she was not even after his money which was a bonus for him. He took her as a  very polite and well behaved girl than how did she loose her inhibitions and dance like a crazy person? He shook his head to relieve himself of these thoughts and kissed her forehead.

Seeing her happy expression change, he did feel sorry after he had calmed down but no matter what, he was not going to allow this girl to break the rules he had.

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Thank you for being patient with me.

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So a lot has been going on lately, mentally and also the circumstances. On most days, I just want to write, write and write. I want to create stories and give time to pen down the stories i have in mind. Everything else is blah. The stories keep me going😂
I want to get a job where they pay me to write stories (whether long form or short) but again, I don't have any experience to write something extra ordinary.

I do put my blood, sweat and tears in other things I do because of which i don't get time to write but those things, for now, are not working out for me and I am fed up of those things. This is the one good thing happening to me that's why I wish, one day, I write better and those stories reach so, so, so many people who would like and enjoy it.

More of this in the next chapter's end, because where else can I speak my heart out? :)