My Sisters Keeper

29

I've never seen my sister like this. Even at her 'lowest' she was never this sad and forlorn. Seeing her was like looking at a horror movie main character. In the past couple of days alone she'd lost weight, I could even see the bones around her neck popping out. He hair was dry and messy, for the first time since this whole thing started I was glad mum wasn't here to see her daughter like this.

"Say what you came to say Nomonde and leave." I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I couldn't. I didnt know what to say. I had practiced all I wanted to say to her on my way here, but now that I was standing in front of her I couldn't utter a single word. "Cat got your tongue?" She said and pulled up a chair. She sat down and looked at me.

"I'm sorry Amanda."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry. I dont know what I ever did to you, I dont know why you'd hate me so much." She chuckled and played with the cuffs on her wrists.
"Dont flatter yourself sis wam. Not everything revolves around you."
"Amanda, you set me up to take the fall for a crime I didnt commit, I spent years in jail going through things you wouldn't even dream about. If this was your way of punishing me then I'll give you a ten over ten, you passed with distinction. You didnt just punish me you broke me and shattered my soul, and to this day I still dont know why you would hate me that much. You're my twin sister, we might not be identical but we are still sisters at the end of the day, you're supposed to be my God given best friend, instead you chose to be my enemy." I wiped the tears that had somehow freed themselves from my eyes and ran down my cheeks. "I forgive you. I hope you find peace in your heart and actually learn to see beyond your hatred for me, cause look where you are now, your children are now going to grow up without a mother, although they are lucky they got a few more years with you than Bontle did with me."

I got up and made my way to the door. I stopped and turned to look at her. Even though her back was turned I noticed her lifting her hand and wiping away a tear. The sister in me wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything would be okay, but I couldn't. Cause I knew nothing would be okay, for her anyways. I've walked this path and I know the hurt and pain that's waiting on the other side, I just hope she is stronger than me and can handle whatever comes her way. I hope my mother still prays for her just as much as she prayed for me cause she will need those prayers.

I opened the door and walked out of there with my head held high. For the first time in a long long time I can walk in a police station and not feel judged or feel like a criminal. I got out and went to Lungelo who was waiting for me by the side of his car. He opened the car door for me and I got in. He got in on the other side and looked at me.

"Your eyes are red. What happened?" I took a deep breath and laughed. I didn't know what else to do except laugh. I've spent years shedding tears that laughing seemed like the appropriate response at this time. It felt good to just breathe, to know that my life was back to being on track. This might not be the end goal but it sure as hell was the first step to whatever freedom and happiness looks like. And I was ready for it.

"Let's go have lunch before my flight." Lungelo smiled and started the car. We drove to Melrose Arch. As we walked into the restaurant hand in hand we bumped into Lesego and his mother. She stopped and looked at me like she wanted to say something but she couldn't say it. I pulled Lungelo into the restaurant and left them standing there like they were struck by lightning.

We had our lunch while talking and laughing. Bontle called me while I was eating and soon as I told her I was with Lungelo I apparently stopped being important to her cause all she wanted to do was speak to him. They spoke for a while and as loud and carefree as Bontle is, I didnt want Lungelo to feel like he has an obligation towards her just because he says he loves me, but the mother in me knows I could never be with a man who couldn't love my child like his own. It would be pointless really.