My Sisters Keeper

35

They say a mother is someone who will love you unconditionally till her last breath. No matter how many times you swear and insult her or turn your back on her, her love never wavers. And every day she prays for you whether you are in her life or not.
Amanda sat in her cell, with more time on her hands her mind took her back to the moments she wishes she could go back and redo. And the most important one of those was to make amends with her mother.

Like they say, the higher you climb, the harder you fall, and right now, Amanda was at the bottom, and as much as she wanted to believe that once you hit rock bottom the only way to go was up, but how do you go up when there are bars keeping you in? How do you rise when you have shackles on your feet? As much as her mind and spirit were willing to rise, her circumstances told a different story.

For the past few weeks she had shut the world out. She had refused any visitors, she had refused to see anybody that would remind her of the life she was living less than three months ago. How things have changed. She laid in her cell looking up at the ceiling and no matter how many times she tried to quiet her mind, it wouldn't give her rest. Her mind reminded her of her jealousy and greed that had led her here. And she had no one to blame but herself.

She woke up in the morning with the rest of the prisoners and took her shower before heading out to breakfast. For the first few weeks in here she couldn't eat the atrocious food that was served in here, but hunger made her rethink her decision. The food didnt taste like sushi and the tea wasnt champagne but she knew she had to eat if she wanted to get out of here alive.

She finished eating and headed back to her cell while the others made their way out to the yard to catch some sun. An officer came and told her she had a visitor.

"I've already said I dont want to see anyone." Amanda answered the officer without even looking at her.
"Not even your mother?" Amanda sat up and looked at the officer.
"My mum is here? Are you sure?"
"Come see for yourself."

Amanda got up and followed the officer to the visitors area. She could feel her knees turning into jelly due to nerves. In all that she has done to her family, in all the pain she has caused her mother, she is here, willing to see her. Amanda wasnt sure how to feel or what to expect from her.

She walked into the visitors area and saw her mother sitting on a bench with her head bowed on the table and a bible in front of her. She walked up to her and sat on the bench opposite her mother. Her mother looked up and Amanda was taken aback by the tears in her mother's eyes. Her mother wiped the tears and forced a smile on her face. They sat there in silence, with Amanda's head hung in shame and her mother's eyes boring into her.

"You know I never thought I'd be back here again." Her mother says after a long while of silence. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine."
"How did we end up here Amanda? Where did I go wrong? I dont understand. I've prayed about this and asked God to show me my mistakes and show me what I could have done different but nothing. I'm lost and confused."
"You didnt do anything wrong mama."
"I must have done something wrong, I've never even met your children. I know I begged you not to marry Paul and you defied me and went ahead and did it anyway. You denied your niece a chance at living a life that she deserved, and had your sister in this hellhole for so many years. Why Amanda? What did I do to hurt you so bad Kodwa mntanami."

Amanda wiped her tears and looked up at her mother. Truth be told she also couldn't tell you what her mother ever did to her. She had a good life, sure they didnt have the best that life had to offer, but their mother had made sure they never went without the basics. They had clothes, food to eat and a roof over their heads. All Amanda could think about was greed and jealousy. Her sister had always been the smart one, the kind one, everybody loved her. Their teachers sang her praises at every turn, the mothers in their little village had put her on a pedestal telling their daughters to look up to her and telling their sons to bring home to their mothers a girl like her. While Amanda was the total opposite of all that. She was the rebel, some people even called her the evil twin. No matter how many times she tried to shake off that name it seemed to follow her everywhere until she embraced it and made it her own.