My Sisters Keeper

62

MY SISTERS KEEPER

SIXTY TWO

I love being home. Being with my mum and my daughter means so much to me. Maybe it's because there was a time I thought I'd never get to be with them ever again, but here I am, seeing my daughter and my mum baking Christmas scones. It reminds me so much of when I was growing up. It reminded me of the time I spent with mum, my grandmother and my sister. I really wish she was here right now with her own kids.

I cant go back and change the past, as much as my sister hurt me and literally destroyed my life, it would still mean a lot to me to have her here. For our kids to grow up loving each other and being close like most cousins are. Or in our case, siblings, since our kids share a father. I know Amanda signed her parental rights over to me but I havent really took into consideration the magnitude of what that means.

Amanda gave me the responsibility to raise her children, something she never did or even tried to do for my child. But holding on to that anger and hurt would be like drinking poison and expecting Amanda to die. And punishing her kids would make me no different to her. I tried getting the kids to come home for Christmas but Paul made it pretty clear that that's not going to happen. I think I'm more angry at him for denying my mother the chance to know her grandkids more than anything else.

Paul has a chance to make himself look good, especially in Bontle's eyes, but he is too blind to see it. I know at some point Bontle will want to know her father and his family and maybe Paul showing a bit of compassion could have done that. But I guess you can take a horse to the river but you can't force it to drink.

Christmas is two days away. That means I've been here for ten days, ten days of no sex, ten days of having to help myself cause the person who should be doing that is kilometers away. I've been up for almost an hour now just staring up at the roof. I want to help renovate the house but I figured soon as my settlement with the department of justice comes through I will buy my mother a house close to us. That way she can be close enough for me to see her anytime I want. Maybe that's a bit selfish but I will need my mother, especially when the baby comes.

I called Lungelo cause I miss him. I didn't realise how clingy I was till i got here. And now i have to call him atleast three times a day like a balanced meal with some snacks in between. He picked up.
"Let me guess, you're horny and you need me to help you." He said.
"Yes I am, but that's not why I called. I miss you."
"I miss you too sthandwa sam, I wish I was there with you. Hows my babygirl?"  I rubbed my invisible bump with a smile on my face, he's adamant the baby is a girl, so much so I think I'm also secretly hoping it is a girl.
"She is fine. She's not making me vomit as much now so thats good."
"I'm glad to hear that. What about my first born?"
"She's fine. She and mum are delivering some scones to the neighbours."
"Your mother is mother Theresa around there. I hope people aren't taking her kindness for granted." I chuckled and closed my eyes, thinking how lucky I am finding a man whose not just protective of me but my family too. How did I get so lucky?
"I doubt it. She's way too stubborn to be taken advantage of." I heard him laugh.
"I hope so. So have you spoken to Paul lately?"
"A few days ago, he made it pretty clear that the kids would not be coming here. Not now, not ever."
"Mhmmm. And here I was thinking he would have changed his mind by now. Oh well, he'll have to answer to his kids one day."
"True. So hows the family?"
"They are fine. But I'll only be going home tomorrow."
"Tomorrow is Christmas eve Lungelo, roads are busy and there are too many accidents, go today." He laughs.
"Yes ma'am." He thinks I'm joking. Mxm. "By the way, a driver will be there tomorrow to drop off your Christmas gifts."
"You could have just given them to me when I came here."
"They would have been opened a long time ago. Theres a reason they are called Christmas presents." I laugh cause I know he is right. I would have opened them the moment I got here. But I'm not about to tell him that.
"You have little faith in me Mr Radebe."
"I know you, remember. Anyways I've spoken to my uncles, a letter should be delivered to your mum soon."
"Okay, I'll let her know."
"Cool, baby I have to go Okay, I'll call you later."
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you too."