Toxic Lips [l.h]

t w e n t y s i x

I lean against the building and answer the call.

"Las, I'm so sorry, I can't believe--"

"Tyler, where were you today?" I ask, cutting him off. 

"I don't know, I really don't have an excuse this time--"

"You promised."

"I know, I'm really sorry," he says, and I sigh. "Are you mad?" He asks. 

"Well obviously! This has happened three times now, it's making me think that you don't care about me anymore."

"How could you think that? Of course I care about you, Alaska."

"Look, can we talk later? I'm kind of busy right now."

"With what?"

"Uh...work.  I had to edit some songs at home this week.."

"Oh, well I guess I'll talk to you later."

We say goodbye and I hang up and breathe in the fresh air. I could really use a smoke right now. 

As if on cue, Luke emerges from inside, his eyes locking with mine. 

"Something wrong?" He asks, his cigarette still plastered between his lips. 

"Tyler called."

"Hmmm."

"He just kept apologizing."

"Did you forgive him?"

I don't answer, instead I take the cigarette from Luke's lips and bring it to my own, taking a long drag. 

"And all this time I thought you lied when you said you used to smoke," Luke says, smiling. 

I hand him back the cigarette and he brings it to his lips. We switch on and off for a while, just leaning back against the wall and smoking. I feel more relaxed, and I lean my head against the wall. 

"You know, Luke," I say. "You win."

He looks at me confusedly.

"21," I clarify. "You win."

"Hmmm."

"Yeah, now we're even."

"Even?"

"I owe you so many favors; for taking me home more than once, giving me tea, and all that." I say, smiling. "And now we're even."

Luke looks at me, "I say we split the money, fifty-fifty."

"Fine," I shrug.

Luke stamps the cigarette out and turns to look at me. "What are you hiding, Alaska?"

"What?"

"I can tell you're hiding something," He says. "It's why you never talk about Perth."

"Well, you never talk about your personal life either."

Anguish flashes in Luke's eyes, and he looks down. "Everyone has a secret," he says, so quiet I barely hear it. "It just depends on how good you can keep it hidden... What's your secret, Alaska?" He asks, stepping towards me. 

"It's a secret for a reason," I say.

We're only inches apart now, our bodies radiating heat. Luke's usual smell of spearmint is laced with smoke, almost intoxicaating me. He leans towards me, our noses almost brushing. 

"What's your secret?" I ask, whispering. 

"You," he breathes. He leans in further, our lips brushing momentarily before he puts one hand on the wall next to my head, and the other on my waist.. And kisses me. 

He sildes his tongue between my lips, and I turn weak in the knees. His mouth tastes like smoke and mint flavoured gum. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. His lips feel smooth and soft, like heaven. 

He pulls away slightly, and I feel cold at the loss of contact but he moves his lips to my neck, biting and sucking gently. I roll my head back onto the wall, sighing as he kisses behind my ear, his hot breath fanning out over my skin. 

My eyes flutter shut as he brings his lips back to my own. My heart beats loudly in my ears, but I don't care. All I care about right now is Luke. 

And then reality hits me again, filling me with guilt. 

Tyler.

I bring my sweaty palms to Luke's chest, pushing him lightly. "Luke," I breath into his mouth. 

He doesn't respond at first, so I push a bit harder. "Luke," I say more forcefully. He takes a step back, eyes full of sadness, rejection and confusion. 

"I can't do this," I say. "Tyler..."

Luke turns his back on me, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. 

"God, Alaska, how stupid can you be!? He forgets about you! And guess who is alway there to pick up the pieces; me! You know, you said yourself you were sick of being the second choice. Well let me tell you, you're not the only one."