The Light House Girl.

Chapter 5

A/N : Getting to know Abbie's more. Why she is the way she is.

Warning : mention of abuse.

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I know I said I would turn over a new leaf or whatever, but it is not easy to do that. You see I have always been this way for as long as I can remember. No, I am lying. I was different back in middle school. I was a fucking nobody. That's who I was. Actually, more like a pariah. I had no friends. At least not officially. I was dumb enough to think the mean girls were my friends. I mean come on in my defense I thought friendship meant you get to be mean to each other. Granted I was never that mean to them. The reason being simple because they would insult me and walk away before I could even retort. They were actually my bullies, which I learned later and not my friends. They also never let me be reply or be mean to them. If I spoke up, like actually defended myself they would attack me more. My childish brain thought that was how friends showed their care. Well I learned about caring from my dear old dad obviously ! So, my concept of care is a little different than the actual definition of it. Do I need therapy? Yes. Will I ever go? No. Why? Well why I would I waste my money on someone to talk to when I can drink my way into oblivion. And that's exactly what I did before I came here. But now I decided to drink less. At least if Adeline wants to try to build this new...whatever. I should at least be present 50%. I am not saying I will try. Why should I? The woman left me. Yes, she said she did not. But to me, what I believed for almost 17 years of my life was she did. Also, the fact she married my dad did not help her case. I mean she should have known how he is. Or did he change afterwards? I mean that would be a drastic change. I don't buy it. There has to be a hidden agenda. I don't know what yet, but I will find out. She can act all lovey-dovey with me, but I am watching her like a hawk. Well when I am not drinking that is. She has not said anything to me regarding that. That is the only good thing. Like she is not pretending to control my life and my behavior after knowing me for fucking five seconds. Okay I am staying with her for two weeks now. But that is still like five minutes compared to the years of her absence. Only pain in the ass is Ryan. According to Adeline's orders Ryan has to accompany me everywhere every time I leave the house. She said and I quote, 'He is good guy. Let him help you get settled here.' Well he may be a good guy but I am not, and I do not plan on changing. But I have plans on having fun with him.

I have not tried to kiss Ryan anymore. No. His rugged sexy charm wore off once I saw him chug milk from the refrigerator. It just made me think he is a kid, but he is old enough to buy alcohol. And he is supposed to take care of me. So, that is what he does now. He buys me drinks. Don't worry I use my money or my dad's. Another thing I did after three days of settling in. I took all the money from the new account dad created and closed it and open a new account in a different bank and deposited it. No way was I letting him control me from there. I thought he would call as soon as he gets notified. But he didn't. I was a little disappointed. I thought he would care. And I thought he didn't. I was wrong. He texted me the next day saying he knows what I did and that I should not expect any contact from him. He also said that since I closed the account, he might not be able to send me more money but if I give him Adeline's address or new account information he would send more. I almost fell into his trap. Almost. Guess who saved me? Ryan. Yes, fucking Ryan. He was with me when I did the transfer. And he knew my plan, I think he even understood my reasoning. So, right before I texted my dad all the info, he stopped me. He explained that was his way of trying to gain back control. Looking back now after few days I see he was right. As my dad kept on asking me for info and my whereabouts. Even saying as far as that my girlfriend wanted to know. Yeah right like I would fall for that. Like as if I would have a girlfriend. I know he threw me out, but I think he hoped I would go back or want more money or something and contact him. When I didn't fall into his several traps, he threatened me. Well I did the next best thing. He threatened me in text and email. I saved them. I printed them and I am keeping them. They might come in handy later. Although I do not trust Adeline's intentions about me. But I like the fact that she does not try to control me. In fact, she lets me roam free. According to her I should be enjoying summer, just I should not get arrested or anything illegal. But since I drink on daily basis almost and I am just 17, she changed it to say no drugs. I am like free. Not as free as a bird. But I am free enough to spread my wings.