The Light House Girl.

Chapter 10

Forces of gravity,

Taking me, taking me,

Weightlessness forsaken me,

This pull is Astronomical.

~Song --Astronomical by SVRCINA (link on top)

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I woke up with the biggest grin on my face. I cannot believe today is finally Saturday. It felt like it took forever for this Saturday to arrive. It is 'the day' I finally got to go to the light house. What is it about this place that I feel so giddy and enticed with it before I even visited it? Also why do I want to visit it so much? I don't think I was this much excited to meet my mom or even my grandparents. Granted I feel closer to Ade after hearing she used to visit this place. I guess I am trying to latch onto some of her old memories to familiarize myself with the new emotions I am feeling nowadays. I am not sure, or am I? Ade and I are on good terms now and nothing can take me down today. I repeat nothing. And this is not a challenge. So, brain do not screw this up for me. I need to clarify my brain as it sends me mixed signals for emotions every so often. Like I cry when I am angry, I smile when I angry. Okay maybe I am actually happy or sad which is why I am doing those things, yet I never used to show any emotion except anger. And coping with these new outbursts of emotion is a bit exhausting for me. Yet I would welcome them any time over the darkness that overtakes me whenever I get super angry.

After returning from May and Daniel's house I was tired but the moment I saw Riley and the excitement in her eyes made my tiredness disappear. The number of techs she wants us to carry today to the light house is insane. You would think we are going on an actual mission. Not a make-believe discovery mission and certainly not to a dilapidated light house. I learned patiently the purposes of each of those techs as Riley continued to explain how to use them and why we need them to me. I saw her excitement and that doubled my excitement level. Somehow, we spent five hours discussing our plans for today and by the time I finally made it to bed I was so tired that I fell asleep as soon as my body touched the mattress.

After breakfast today, I was just surfing channels on TV not watching anything, just making time pass. I just could not focus on anything this morning. I was way too distracted with everything to concentrate on anything in particular. When Jane came and sat beside me. She just took my hand in her and said, "I know." Nothing more nothing less yet it felt like we had a huge conversation and that relaxed me a little. I was so preoccupied that I did not notice the big grin on Ade's face either. We both had matching grins and neither of us seemed to be stop smiling like an idiot any time soon. Now Jane's comment makes much more sense. So, wait why was I smiling liking an idiot. I thought it was for my excitement for the light house. Could it be something else entirely? I knew I was happy with my visit to Ade's parents' house and I talked to them and asked them stories all the time during my visit. I guess it had a bigger effect on me, much bigger than I previously realized. Plus, I got to stay at Ade's old room and that was the best part of the visit. It just felt like I was a part of her... like almost as if we were never apart. It was a sort of connection, a connection I so severely wanted, and so desperately needed, yet I had no idea that I was missing it for so long. And now after I stayed at her old room, it just keeps on growing. Even with the light house. I know the reason for my obsession to know about that place but what is Riley's though? Could she have a connection like me, a secret or maybe a hidden reason?

As soon as we finished lunch Riley came and we went to the light house. She brought her car, seeing as I do not have one and I never even asked Ade for one. I know I am not going to. At least not anytime soon. We drove in her black Mazda. It is a nice car and well maintained I would say. It is quite spacious, and it still had new car feel. Neither of us tried the radio and we did not talk either. It was not awkward just silent. But the surge of adrenaline inside the car could be felt from a mile. She seemed to me as a good driver even with the way her hands were shaking. I looked at the scenery outside, which changed from the town houses, to a dusty road with trees, and finally to a beach-side. And then we stopped in front of a white colored light house. It had a typical light house look. Like the one found on the internet yet somehow it felt different. Like it had stories hidden inside its walls. To me it felt like untold stories is written on each of its bricks. It looks like it is more than a hundred years old. A very eerie calm is in the atmosphere and it made me think why people thought it is haunted in the first place. The view surrounding it is beautiful. The water on its horizon with the sun above, its reflections on the shimmering water, caught my eye. It looked like there is someone at the top of the light house looking at me via the reflection. And I looked back at the top of the light house to check. And I almost felt I saw a person and that the person was almost my age and looked like me yet not really looking as if the person is not really there. It was just a phantom vision. I realized it was my mind playing tricks on me showing Ade standing on the balcony of the light house. Just like the image she had in her room back in May's house, when she was around my age. I looked up again to confirm that it was indeed a trick of my mind. I wanted it to be true so much so that my mind made it real. I could not keep my eyes off of the light house. It mesmerized me to say the least. The beauty of the whole area enticed me so much that without hearing Riley's call or taking any tech I walked towards it. Almost as if it is calling to me. Calling me in, begging me to run my hands on its water washed walls.