Chapter 21

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Shopping was fun but it was really exhausting. I have never been much of shopper. Specially with my dad. Basically, he went to buy stuff for me, and only sometimes I was allowed to accompany him. But I would have to wear what he chose so it was not much of a shopping but rather just loosening of his leash on me. And I was not allowed to leave my house except school, so that cut off my probable adventures into the land of shopping with girls my age. I should say friends, but I was not particularly allowed that either. Not that I wanted to be honest. I mean who would want to be friends with a freak like me. An angry heartless bitch. Weirdly whose heart now beats for people. Not just one but 5 people, Krystal and Riley included. It is just so bizarre.

I went to bed as soon as I returned that day, I was pretty much snoring the second I entered the living room. I still do not believe how I chatted with Jane and Ade a little being that sleepy. The first time I did not text Krystal night after getting her number. I was too sleepy to actually form words much less text. Next day at breakfast Ryan told me he helped me get to bed, as I apparently fell asleep on the couch. No wonder!

"Hey Ryan, what is up with you huh? Do you like Riley? You know you can tell me, right?" I asked Ryan after breakfast when we were alone after Ade and Jane went out.

"Yeah. No. It's not that. It's nothing like that. Drop it okay sis. Just nothing. Nothing let's forget it. Okay?" Wow Ryan. You said too much!

"If only Ryan there were words in the dictionary to help you express this 'nothing'. If only! Right?" I know he can sense my sarcasm. "But seriously dude what's up? Why are you behaving weirdly? You turn red whenever I mention Riley, you are everywhere and all over us? So, spill."

"There is nothing to spill Abbie. You are imagining things. I do not get red. You just want to believe that. That's it."

"HUH? What? Why would I want to believe it or even imagine it for that matter?"

"Nothing so just drop it okay sis."

He calls me sis whenever he wants to avoid stuff, or he wants to mock me. Seeing as mocking me does not make sense right now I am going with he does not want to tell me. Well okay. Take your time just please do not get in our faces that much. I am not going to tell him this, it will hurt him. I do not want to hurt him, that's the last thing I want to do. I guess we can avoid him, hopefully he gets the memo.

Today is day 14 from the last time I saw Krystal. Me and Riley have plans to hang out by the beach today. We might go to the light house but its beach day. And this time Riley said she would meet me there and then I would drive us back. When suddenly I get a text.

'I will be at the light house today sometime in the afternoon.' -Krystal.

Okay good. Should I go? Does she want to see me? Of course, that is why she is texting me. Well she could text me to tell me not to go there so that we do not bump into each other there. Too bad I had plans with Riley. Guess beach day is cancelled! I am going if she says she does not want to see me I will leave. But I really really want to see her at least once even if she does not want to talk. Hope I can see her before she gets angry or scared. Quickly I texted Riley and got dressed. I have no idea when she will be there, so I plan to go early. I ordered some food for lunch. I knew Jane and Ade will not be home till later today. They had a meeting or something. And Ryan...well I have no idea what he plans to do today. I still don't know if he followed us to the mall yesterday. I was sure he did but something told me I might be wrong. Riley did not reply to my cancelling the plan.

I ate and went to the light house to wait for her. I waited for ten minutes before Krystal showed up. Again, in a full sleeve shirt. The shirt looks old and dirty. Her face has some new bruises. Her lip has a cut and she started pulling her sleeves as soon as our eyes met. Did she cut herself again? I thought she stopped. I hoped she stopped. Maybe she started again. Shit! I need to clear the air. She cannot know about my crush. I do not think she can handle it. Maybe later. Plus, I do feel confident to even tell her. Her eyes are so sad, they hold so much pain in them. I wish one day I can take those pain away from her. Just like she takes my pain away I wish to as well. If only she talks to me and stays here allowing me to take away her pain. Those beautiful blue eyes, I want to see them light up with happiness. I want to see them sparkle from joy. Her face should always have a smile on them and never ever do I want to see her cry. I curse the person who made her cry, who hurt her, who gave her so much pain. I curse me too as I know I hurt her as well.

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