Maddison Winchester: Journal 3 {Supernatural}

15 Time Is on My Side: Part 3

On the way to Bela's hotel, I read the file Rufus had on her. When she was around my age, her parents died in a suspicious car crash. The police suspected a cut brake line, but the car was too burned to tell. Shortly after that, Bela ended up inheriting millions.

I closed the folder. "You really think she killed her parents?"

"It's Bela," Dean said bluntly.

I sighed. "Yeah, but—"

"Yeah, but nothing," Dean interrupted. "It's Bela. I have no doubt she did it."

I sighed. "Dean, maybe something happened. She was my age at the time, I would never think of doing something like that unless—"

"You're different," Dean said.

"How?" I asked.

"You just are," Dean said.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not."

"What?" Dean asked.

I sighed. "After Renee told me everything. I wanted to— I wanted to kill her." I shook my head. "To be honest, I was angry that the demon did before I could. I was so scared because I never felt that much anger before." I clenched my jaw as the memories flooded my mind.

I saw Dean glance at me out of the corner of his eye, with worry on his face. "That was different."

"How?" I asked.

"She tried to kill you," Dean said.

"Exactly." I nodded. "You don't know what happened to Bela. Maybe she was protecting herself. Or maybe... she had nothing to do with it at all."

Dean looked over at me but didn't say anything for a while. "Maddi... I'm sorry."

I furrowed my brow and looked over at him. "What? Why?"

"I should've been there to protect you," Dean said sadly.

"You couldn't've known, Dean," I said.

Dean shook his head. "I should've gone with my gut. I knew the whole thing was a bad idea. It's on me. Everything."

I sighed. "Dean—"

He shook his head. "You're too young to have to deal with something like that."

"What?" I asked, shaking my head. "You know what kind of life we live, right? In all honesty, it's not that surprising."

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. When we walked into that house and saw Renee lying there..." He sighed. "I thought we had lost you. I was so scared. I would never forgive myself if they had—" He cleared his throat and shook his head, not able to finish his sentence.

"Dean, I'm okay, though. I'm fine now," I said.

He nodded. "I know. Just thinking about leaving you and Sammy behind." He shook his head. "I won't be able to protect you at all anymore. That scares me too." He sighed. "Just promise me that you and Sam will look out for each other."

"You need to stop burying yourself in guilt," I said.

"Just promise me," he said, looking over at me very seriously.

"Okay... I promise," I said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Eventually, we parked in front of Bela's hotel. Dean went in by himself, only to come out twenty minutes later, empty-handed.

We drove in silence for a while. I could feel the anger radiating off of him.