Maddison Winchester: Journal 3 {Supernatural}

16 No Rest for the Wicked: Part 2

When we got back upstairs, they cleaned themselves up and then started getting their weapons cleaned and ready.

Sam sighed. "We're just gonna let Ruby rot down there?"

Dean nodded. "That's the idea."

"Dean, what if, uh... what if Ruby's right?" Sam asked, "What if I can take out Lilith?"

Dean looked up at him with a doubtful, angry expression.

"Quit looking at me like that," Sam said.

"What, are you gonna give her the Carrie-stare, and Lilith goes 'poof'?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know what Ruby meant. You know, maybe we should just go ask her."

"Sam, you wanted the knife... I got you the knife," Dean said.

"Dean, just listen to me for a second. Last time Lilith snapped her fingers and put thirty demons on our ass, and all we got's one little knife?" Sam asked. "I mean, like you said, we go in smart, or we don't go in at all."

Dean sighed and shook his head. "Well, this ain't smart."

"We got one shot at this, Dean. Just one. So, if there's a sure-fire way, then maybe we should just talk about it," Sam said.

I sighed. "Dean... maybe Sam's right."

Dean shook his head. "We are not gonna make the same mistake all over again."

Sam nodded. "You said that, but what does it even mean?"

"Don't you see a pattern here?" Dean asked, looking at both of us. "Dad's deal, my deal, now this? I mean, every time one of us is— is— is up the creek, the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is." He looked at Sam. "Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with, and you know where it's going." He leaned up against the table and started cleaning another gun.

Sam shook his head. "Dean..." He leaned up against the table next to him. "What do you think is gonna happen? This is me. I can handle it."

Dean stopped what he was doing and shook his head.

Sam shrugged. "And if it'll save you—"

"Why even risk it?" Dean asked.

"Because you're my brother. Because you did the same thing for me," Sam said.

Dean scoffed. "I know... and look how that turned out." He looked at Sam and me. "All I'm saying..." He started to get choked up. "All I'm saying is... that you're my weak spot." He smiled at us. "You are. And I'm yours."

I felt tears running down my cheeks. Dean reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to him and wrapping his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head and then kept me against his side as he rubbed my arm.

"You don't mean that." Sam choked out. "We're— We're family."

Dean nodded. "I know. And those evil sons of bitches know it too. I mean, what we'll do for each other, you know, how far we'll go? They're using it against us."

"So, what? We just stop looking out for each other?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. "No, we stop being martyrs, man. We— We— We stop spreading it for these demons." He grabbed Ruby's knife and held it up. "We take this knife, and we go after Lilith our way. The way Dad taught us to. And if we go down, then, uh— then we go down swinging." He looked at Sam. "What do you think?"

Sam thought for a second. "I think you totally should have been jamming Eye of the Tiger right there."

Dean stood up. "Oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too."