Spring and Night: ACOTAR Fanfic

44

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𝑨/𝒏: 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒖𝒑, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈!

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"Cailean." I called, rushing after him.

He walked briskly- showing the back muscles of a warrior with every movement.

He turned a corner- which led into a lower balcony.

"Wait, please." I pleaded, jogging now to catch up.

When I at last made it to the balcony- Cailean stood out there, watching the sky- even when there was nothing to watch.

"Cailean." I started, coming up behind him. "I'm sorry, I know there was something between us- but Nyx is-"

Cailean turned around- looking defeated. "Different? Perfect?" He looked at the ground, making a pained expression. A side of him I never have actually seen: vulnerable. "Believe me, I know."

I shook my head- seeing where he's getting at. "No Cailean- it's not about that-" I started again, trying to explain.

He interrupted me again- as if he couldn't hear anything I had to say. "Look, nothing actually happened between us." He interjected. "It was one sided, I knew it was going to be only a thought." He shrugged his shoulders, pretending to not care.

"You hated me?" I state perplexed- creasing my eyebrows. I thought we had a connection, but I know he's never lost all that hate for me.

"I did." He admitted. "But that changed, like everything changes." He muttered disdainful, grimacing.

I snort. "Then how is anything supposed to go any further, or even be 'anything'- if you never bothered to show you no longer hate me?" I queried , mouth open with disbelief.

"I knew you'd pick him, and I can understand why." He sighed- avoiding her eyes again.

His hair looked more dishevelled, as if he'd been pulling at it.

"I love Nyx." He cringed at that. "And yes, I'd pick him- every time because he saw me... saw me for who I am and not how I'm perceived to be."

Cailean didn't reply for a moment- clearly not knowing what to say.

He walked up to me, looking actually mad for a second- and stood looming over me. "I see you." He breathed. I could hear his heart beating rapidly, as if he's nervous about something. He cupped my cheek- searching my eyes. "I know who you are."

He leant in- I tried to struggle free- turning my face away.

"What the fuck."

While Cailean's distracted I pushed him away- not long before Nyx shoved Cailean over- and grabbed his throat, pushing against it.

I knew that is all Nyx would do to him- as far as he'll go- because they're brothers, he loves him....even when he did try to kiss his lover.

"You're my brother Cailean, in every way but blood- and this is the way you treat it? Our bond?" Nyx cried, his body shaking with hurt by betrayal. "I even warned you that day I found Linetta."

Cailean grabbed Nyx's wrist, and stared at him. Nyx let go and stood back- his face coloured more of hurt than anger.

The stars started to shine and shimmer- as the night sky creeped in. I hadn't even noticed. Everything looked so peaceful compared to what's happening on this balcony.

Cailean gasped- breathing in all the air he could, laying down on the stone ground.

Nyx's deathly silence was a word in itself; speak.

"You know, Nyx- I just wanted a shot, for my own happiness." He rasped, rubbing his throat. "I wasn't going to take her- I just wanted a taste of what love feels like."

Oh.

Nyx didn't answer for a second- he just looked darkly at Cailean with a pointed stare. His wings flared out- to show dominance I assume.

"I'm going to be living for a long time- so why not just go for it." He breathed, groaning as he stood up.

"What's going on?" Erebus demanded- walking up to Nyx and Cailean.

Nyx just looked away and Cailean grimaced.

"What did you do?" Erebus asked darkly, staring dead at me.

"What?" I scoffed, this seriously can't be happening.

"I said: what did you do." He hissed, and walked up to me- looking down at my face.

Nyx was there in an instant- pushing him off.

"What is wrong with you?" Erebus snapped- looking at Nyx incredulously- as if he was a different person. "Can't you see she's brainwashing you? Both of you?" Erebus looked at both of them.

I'm always blamed for everyone's actions and emotions, when is it ever going to end? I thought me risking my life in just a few hours would be a way to prove myself just a bit more- but nothing had changed.

"Erebus- you can't speak to me that way, or assume anything- when you haven't experienced love yourself." Nyx snapped- still standing slightly in front of me.

Erebus gaped at Nyx, and then closed his mouth. "I don't need to." He retorted- and pointed at me. "Anything with eyes can see she's not what she seems."

I can't do this anymore- going through such hatred- i want to go. I need to go now- I'll just have to hope that Rhysand and Feyre can find a clone they can use.

"I'm just going to go inside, Nyx." I rose on the tips of my feet, and kissed his cheek. He blushed slightly as I turned around, without realising it was a goodbye.

He'll assume I'm going in because of Erebus, and everything that's going on, which is partly true..but he thinks I'm going to be there when he eventually comes in.

But I won't be.

I ignored Cailean and walked up to Erebus, and whispered in his ear. "Don't worry, you won't have to put up with me much longer."

I walked past him straight faced- and from the horrified look he made- I could tell he understood what I meant.

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"I'm ready to go." I announced, walking into the dining room.

Everyone looked at me Azriel, Rhysand, Feyre, Nesta and Cassian.

"Now?" Rhysand asked doubtfully, glancing at Feyre.

I nodded, stifling the tears that want to escape my eyes.

"We haven't even found a clone yet-" Feyre started.

"You can find one as soon as I'm gone- I just need to go." I rushed- looking outside the large windows behind them- instead of their faces.

I looked at them when I heard no reply.
They didn't look certain- judging by their looks and glances.

"Alright- I'll take you as far as the woods outside Hybern. From then on you're by yourself, okay?" Rhysand explained, still doubt upon his face.

I nodded- biting my lip.

"How will I contact you- to share the information I find?"

"In the woods we can make a hidden box- to place letters in. We can't visit it a lot- theres too much risk, but it might work." Rhysand explained.

They all looked worn- even more so than I last saw them.

I nodded again- the words I'm wanting to say disappearing over the loud beats of my heart.

Feyre squeezed Rhysand's hand- both staring at one another. After their silent chat Rhysand stood up and beckoned me to follow.

I took a deep breath and followed after him, ready to face Blair of Hybern.