twelve

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"What... what do you mean?" Carter asked, walking closer to me.

"My ex... Liam. We started dating in college after we met at a party. H-He was sweet and he was just a really loving person. I don't know what happened but after a year or so... he just changed on me."

I felt myself start to zone out and hold myself while I continued speaking. Carter's eyes were locked on me as I glanced up at him, so I cleared my throat and continued.

"We would get into really bad arguments over the simplest things. I was always doing something wrong, he would get mad because I would get off late, and... it's just nothing I did was right. I guess one day, he just got tired of it and he... he hit me."

My voice cracked at the last sentence before wetness on my cheeks.

"It went on like that for years at a time. He wouldn't even argue when he was mad, h-he would just hit me until he thought I learned my lesson. It gotten to the point where I had to go to the hospital, but I couldn't tell them what happened. There's no telling what he would've done to me," I choked out, wiping my eyes.

"A-And I wanted to tell my parents but I was afraid he would do something to them so I just kept my mouth shut. He made me leave their house and move in with him, breaking contact from them. I've dealt with that for years until I called Natalie for help. I-I took her car and went to Jason, her ex's place. She was staying with him that night so she just told me to go there."

It felt so good to talk about this but at the same time it just made me remember everything that happened. The amount of times he hurt me a-and just used me, broke me. I tried again with Erica, but what happened? I dealt with the same shit all over again.

Now, because of them... I can't allow myself
to be with Carter, even though I really want to.

"I-I know that this isn't a really good reason for how I've been acting, but I'm really sorry, Carter," I sobbed, looking at him and quickly wiping my eyes. "I'm just terrified and I don't want to be hurt again."

"Red, I would never hurt you like that. I know it'll take a lot for you to believe me, but I would never do that to you."

Carter placed both hands on my cheeks, kissing my forehead before looking me in the eyes. I placed my hand over his, sighing and held it tightly before looking back at him.

"I'm really sorry..." I whispered.

"Don't be. Any dick that'll put his hands on a woman should rot in hell anyways. Look, i-if you want your space, then I'll-"

"No," I interrupted. "Stay."

"W-What?"

"I want you to stay, please. I have a lot to work on, I know, but... I don't want you to go."

Carter then pulled me closer, kissing me softly then kissing my forehead.

"We'll go rest up then."

I let out a squeal when he scooped me up in my arms, kissing my cheek. Bringing my arms around his neck, he carried me to my room, placing kisses on my temple. He shut the door behind us once we were inside, then put me on the bed before laying beside me.

Carter wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against his chest. With a smile, I
turned around and kissed his jaw before laying my head on his chest. I brought a leg over his waist before closing my eyes, listening to his gentle snores.

•••

"Leave me alone," I mumbled, pulling the blanket over my head.

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