thirty-five

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"W-We need to talk or... I'll go crazy just thinking about this."

That never ends good.

"T-Talk about what?" I whispered, keeping my eyes on him. "You're scaring me."

"I'm more scared than you are right now," he sighed, running a hand down his face. "I-It's not anything bad."

"Then why're you crying?" I asked, wiping under his eyes.

"Because I'm terrified that after I... attempt to explain this, y-you'll tell me to leave or something."

"I would never do that."

"Don't give me false promises."

"Carter, where's this coming from? We were fine before I went downstairs to make breakfast," I said.

"I called Lola to talk to her and it helped me realize something."

He took my hand in his, placing it over his chest. I looked up at him and he looked back at me. His heart was racing and every deep breath he took, made his chest rise against my hand.

"Carter-"

"No, no. Let me speak, please."

I pursed my lips and nodded my head and backed away when he stood up to his feet. Carter held his hands over his mouth, pacing back and forth. I kept my hands behind my back, feeling myself grow nervous as he continued to pace.

"Carter, pacing is just going to drive yourself crazy," I told him.

"I'm thinking. It helps me think," he mumbled.

Before I could say anything else, he walked to me and cupped my cheeks.

"Red, you have no idea how lucky I am to have met you. I know, you were in a relationship and I was flirtatious asshole, but god, you're so irresistible. Just waking up to your face in the morning gets my heart pounding."

My cheeks began to warm and I looked away, fidgeting with my nails. He placed a kiss on my forehead, my attention immediately going back to him.

"You're beautiful, smart, stubborn, and you don't take shit from anybody. I know we still have a long way to go, but you let me in. You opened up and I can't thank you enough for that. You got me to let my walls down and that has never happened before."

I noticed he began to ramble but when he let out a shuddered breath and backed away, I could tell he was second guessing himself.

"That's why I'm so damn scared, because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're unreal, Red."

Carter leaned back against the wall, running his hands through his hair and keeping his eyes shut.

I honestly didn't know what to say. I feel like if I said something it'd be the wrong thing or it would just make something go wrong. So, all I could do was stay quiet and listen.

"I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again," he mumbled. "But I did and it was with the most amazing woman I've ever met. I'm scared to death because I don't know if she feels the same yet. I-I feel like I'm saying it soon or that we're moving to fast, I..."

He took a deep breath, sliding down the door and bringing his hands over his face. My hands fell down to my sides and I was... shocked. He was worried about me not feeling the same way, and I was worried about him not feeling the same way.

I walked over to him and sat down in front of him, gently moving his hands. He kept his head lowered, avoiding eye contact with me. I took one hand and lifted his head up, kissing him softly.

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