Chapter 147: Another Reminder

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Sam's P.O.V

"Where are you going?" Josh called out as I threw my coat back on. My cheeks burned as I kept my eyes down, avoiding his stare.
"Nowhere, I'm just-"
"Did she text you?" He snapped. My heart started beating faster.
"N-no, she-"
"Sam, come on." He sighed.

"Josh, you're telling me if she asked you to come over, you wouldn't?" I asked, shooting him a wide-eyed look. He bit down on his lip, his cheeks burning red.
"Exactly. Look, she.. she has a lot going on, okay?" I said softly. "It's not like that. And I.. I just.. I don't think.. she should be alone."
"Then.. I'll go." He said simply. I stopped, peeking over at him.
"What's the difference if you go or I-"

"Sam, you know the difference." He said softly. It had gotten quieter over towards the bunks. Either Jake had finally fallen asleep.. or he was listening.

"You should be here to talk to him when he's ready." He whispered, motioning back towards Jake's bunk.
"He doesn't want to talk to me." I sighed, leaning up against the counter.
"Sam.. everything you do for her, you're doing to him. He's our brother. He comes first. So.. don't go. Not tonight." I sighed, looking away.
"Then why is it okay if you-"
"Because she dumped me, Sam." He snapped. "He's not worried about me. You know why it's different. There's no chance of anything happening if I go over there, but then at least she won't have to be alone. But, if you go.." He trailed off. My cheeks burned as I turned back to face him, holding my stare on him.
"If you have no intention of doing anything, then it won't matter, right? As long as she's not alone?"

He wasn't wrong.

"Fine." I sighed. 

Jess' P.O.V

I'm sure he had gone to sleep by now, but it was worth a shot. I just didn't want to be alone tonight. I needed something to distract me. If I had learned one thing from support group it was how much being around someone, anyone, helped. During the worst of it.. the nights I had to deal with it alone.. never ended well.

I had made it over a year. I had done so well, and I didn't want to go back to that.

And Sam helped.

My heart jumped as I heard my phone buzz from behind me. I hesitated before flipping it back over. Every time I looked, it was a small blow to the heart, seeing that photo of Jake and I, but I just couldn't bring myself to change it. It's been the same since the day we took it.

Sam: I'll be right there

I felt my cheeks burn, a smile escaping my lips. Going back into the kitchen, I hopped back up onto the counter, playing back the way he danced with me, gently swaying back and forth as he held me up against him. I loved how, even at my worst, when I was in pieces, he always knew how to put me back together.

It was clear that Jake didn't care anymore, as much as it killed me to think about, but Sam had always been there. Maybe this time.. it could finally work. I knew that he would never make the first move though. So if I wanted anything to happen.. I would have to take the leap.

I couldn't think, I just had to do it.
Just kiss him.

I got more and more nervous as time went on. It wasn't like we hadn't kissed before, but for some reason the idea of it now felt.. more real. Like.. maybe this time, things would actually change. Maybe he felt enough to.. want to finally take it to that next step too.

My heart jumped when I finally heard a knock at the door. I hopped down from the counter, running my fingers through my hair, catching a glance of myself in the reflection of the microwave. I sighed, still feeling like a mess; my eyes still stinging from crying, but thankfully my face had cleared up. I hesitated for a second, taking a deep breath and then finally opened the door. I quickly reached my arms out , wrapping them around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. 

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