It's Just Another Kill || ✍︎

27. | kaju katli + chai tea.

Livvy Grant

"He did what now?!" London exclaims dropping her chip from the nachos.

"He kissed the top of my head," I mumble.

"I'm sorry what?" Mon smiles a shocked smile at me.

"Woah, that's not just friends babe, not at all," London shakes her head in what I think is disbelief.

"I mean, I guess not," I shrug opening a bag of goldfish.

"You guess?" Mon looks at me with a 'really' look.

"Yeah," I say.

As Lon and Mon jump into a conversation about school I start zoning out thinking about today.

Today is Diwali and I kid you not I'm so fucking excited.

Diwali, or as I like to say Deepavali. Is the celebration of light, and it's India's biggest holiday. Even though celebrations last usually five days I usually just celebrate the first two.

When my parents died, I got passed on their idols for praying and worshiping. I keep them in a little corner of my kitchen to pray, after I take a shower.

When I was little I wanted someone to teach me about all the gods and why we worship them. I wanted to learn about what they do for the world.

I wanted to learn everything, but of course I had no one to teach me. So I used the internet, it wasn't the ideal way of learning but it was a way I could learn.

When I moved in with Anna and Alex, I had this little box which was filled with the idols. They told me to get rid of it because they thought that Hinduism was a stupid religion.

I of course never got rid of them and instead I just hid it under my bed. When I was fourteen I got my permit and I could drive in parking lots and things like that.

I knew Anna and Alex weren't going to take me to a temple, so I had to figure a way to get there myself.

I've mentioned before people say I look older than they think, so I got some kid to make me a fake ID and say I was sixteen.

When they were gone at work, I would sneak out and drive over to a temple. It was only ten minutes away, and I found it easy to go their.

Since I moved here I haven't been able to go to a temple for a while, so I've made it a thing to go tonight.

I want to go to this really nice northern and southern Indian restaurant somewhere downtown tonight but I don't want to go alone.

So I'm just waiting for everyone so that I can ask if they want to go.

"Coach is making us practice so much that I feel like my bones are going to snap in half and then all my skin is going to melt off," Brooks says dropping his backpack to the ground.

"Well that's spectacular," I say to them.

"Yeah real spectacular," Marcus shakes his head.

"Aren't you just manager?" Lon asks.

"Yeah but coach makes me run too, I'm literally dying," He says sitting down next to B.

"Nah, you look pretty alive," I shrug.

He rolls his eyes at me and then we all emerge into multiple conversations. Nick walks by a moment or two later with nachos in his hand.

"Okay so," I drag the word.

Why am I nervous?

It's just a question, they can say no.

God please don't say no.