i wish you could see the smile on my face when you text me,
the blush in my cheeks when you compliment me,
i radiate in a way i never have before,
it's as though all the years of pain i've endured simply were a bad dream and i've finally awoken to the sunshine.
my friends can't even giggle when i bring you up,
they've never seen me like this before-
so willing to speak well of a man,
but how can i not when you're so well spoken and open-
green was never a color i cared for until i looked into your eyes
until i realized the best way i could have your eyes on me is by wearing it,
i caught myself looking at homes in countries i never thought of solely because they were closer to you
i couldn't help but smile at the sight of your name on my phone
your picture in my photos.
i wish you had had more hope with us,
despite the time, the distance, the struggle-
i would've done all i could to show you how i felt.
"i need to know more about the man who has changed you, who is the man you're in love with?"
i didn't realize that's what it was
i hoped it wasn't that
i didn't realIze i might have just been too much,
here i am used to not being enough- and now it's too much.
if i could take some back, i would.
if it would bring you back- i'd do anything.
i waited a year and i would've waited more to be in your arms,
my face in your shirt so i could never forget your scent,
your hands on my skin hoping they'd leave an imprint.
i wish i could've had that.
i wish i could've had you
