I understand now why I believed the lies you fed me
I ate them up like fairytales, basked in the words "and so they lived..."
and longed for my happily ever after
but you knew that
you knew i would never ask for a happy ending no matter how much i wished for it
you knew the emotions i kept hidden yet begged me to show you, to open myself for you
but i'm not an oyster and what you found wasn't a pearl,
rather coal in a cold soul trying to mend my cracks and protect myself from the cruel outside trying to pry me open looking for something more,
like you were doing
but i let you...
you asked and i gave and i gave and i gave until there was nothing left for me
but you wouldn't leave, you couldn't leave
that's what you told me,
you told me we'd have a happily ever after
i wouldn't have to long for it anymore
it wouldn't be a dream
and i believed you
because i always believed in the make believe,
the fairytales
i believed in you,
now i don't know what to do
05/29/2020
