I hate when you look at me

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I hate when you look at me.

Confidence is something i tend to fake,

So when it's tested by your gaze-

I realize just how easily i can crack and my flaws can show.

The conversations and jokes always fill the air but-

When you look at me-

It's as if time stops for us and everyone around us.

You can't blame me for getting lost in your eyes,

They hold all of our moments together and it's almost like i can see them again,

Feel them,

Maybe if i keep your eyes on me then maybe we can relive them.

Hold me.

My gaze that is.

Let's slip in the moment and sink back to all the times before while i melt with you.

Every moment spanning almost a decade where your sight held mine,

Where our hands intertwined,

When you gently snuck out of bed to not wake me but couldn't resist smoothing my hair and kissing my head-

I was barely awake but i can feel your lips against my forehead if i watch them long enough,

I shouldn't watch them long enough.

I remember you were tucking back my hair from my face-

My mouth dropped open just a bit,

It felt so intimate

I was so exposed then.

Fully dressed with so many around and yet- so exposed.

Dont look at me.

When you do it's so hard to hide our past and our story,

When you look at me i forget we aren't alone

It's just you and me,

When you look into my eyes i wonder what year it is,

Worst of all,

When you look down at me-

I can only think of how i looked up to you-

And how i'll always love you.

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