(Un)Lucky Number

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Before I learned about astrology and numerology and the universe at all,
I had a hard time remembering birthdays.
But yours I remembered from the very start,
and soon it became my favorite number.
What I didn't realize is how that number would haunt me after you were gone.
Something I used to look forward to now became the numbers I'd avoid on the clock, hide from when paying bills, double check my seat at the movie theatre to make sure it didn't line up with you.
Not everything in my life had to line up with you.
This seemed like a coincidence until my body would jolt me awake and I'd look at the time and it was your birthday, I would tell people but they would never believe me.
Someone witnessed it once and finally saw it in action and understood, I didn't try, I had no way of trying, but it still happened.
Your favorite seat, the one you always sat at, the last time I was there with you I asked you to check the number, just to humor me.
There it was.
14.
I would fear seeing the number but now, I view it as good luck.
Not because you were lucky for me, but to prove to myself and the universe that I am now stronger, and I decide what impacts me and what does not.

11/30/2020

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