is this goodbye?

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is this goodbye?
we've said it so many times, i'm not sure if the word holds any meaning for us
we could never stay apart for too long,
but things are different now.
you've created a new life, is it everything you wanted?
is she everything you wanted?
i'm scared i'll always wonder why i wasn't enough for you-
sometimes i think about the others too,
but it always comes back to you.
does this mean no more random hellos in the sporadic moments you thought of me?
i've reached out too many times, my pride won't let me send one more message.
she hangs on by a thread when it comes to you-
only you.
seeing your face in the light reminds me just how much your eyes shine when you're excited,
will i now only get to see that when i close my eyes?
are our conversations going to be confined to my dreams?
please promise me i'll get to see the version i adored of you- in my dreams.
i know promises weren't something you liked to keep,
but please,
just this once for me.
if this is goodbye,
let me have you in my dreams

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