The Uchiha's Toy || FullbusterFic » vonlane

Chapter 16: Hating You

Itachi Uchiha

That afternoon, I stayed in bed hugging and caressing Deidara. I felt calm being with him and that was rare for me because ever since that of my clan, I hadn't had these types of feelings. The truth was that Deidara mattered more to me than I thought, much more. I couldn't imagine anyone else wanting to touch him or doing something to him; I'd kill anyone who touched my blond without his consent. He was mine and only mine. I was even thinking of hanging a little poster on him that read: 'Property of Uchiha- don't touch.'

I think Deidara only felt my soft touches at first because he fell asleep right after like a small child between my arms. I think this is the first time he's slept without worrying - without being scared that someone would enter his room to do something to him. I didn't want to wake him. I also didn't want to wake him to send him to his room, I wanted him to stay here next to me. I wanted him to sleep with me just like this: hugging my waist with his head against my chest.

Just like we were, I ended up falling asleep as well, with my arms strongly holding on to Deidara for fear that something would happen to him, that he'd leave me and I couldn't let him do that. I woke up to the touch of Deidara's fingertips over my chest, grazing my abdomen and tickling me. I liked what he was doing! He had a very soft touch and a delicacy I could only remember my mother having. Deidara had that innate gentleness.

"Awake already?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He said. "I can't sleep with you at my side."

"Why not?"

"Because then I'd want to spend all day looking at you. I'd want to be next to you all day."

"You could." I told him. "I like your company."

"Itachi..." He said my name out loud for the first time and it surprised me, he had listened to me. I couldn't help smiling. "Can I ask you something important?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"I want... to have sex with you."

I was amazed for a second, but I knew it wasn't convenient seeing how he was. Still, how to tell him no when even I was dying to make him mine? It was bound to happen sooner or later if we kept like this. I also didn't expect him to ask me, I thought I had to take the fear away little by little and I knew he was still scared despite asking me to do it.

"It's not convenient. You need to heal and for that, you need rest."

"Please." He begged. "Do it slowly, I can take it."

"Deidara... you can't. Believe me, when I start, you'll want me to stop. You'll remember bad things and honestly, I prefer to wait until your wounds have healed completely."

"I need you to do it." He told me, about to cry. "I need you to take away these marks they left me with, I don't want to have anything from them on my body. I want you to show me that I can enjoy sex because up until now, I only feel pain. Does it always hurt?" He asked me.

"Yes." I said. "Always, sometimes more or less, but it always hurts."

He seemed to be let down with that clarification and I felt bad that he thought like that, but it was true that it hurt. It was also true that it was enjoyable, that there was pleasure in it, not only in the penetration, but in the touching, the kisses, everything counted.

"It always hurts," I said. "but it's enjoyable. What those cretins did to you was not only violate you, Deidara, they've sunk you, they've tortured you, that's not sex. I can make you enjoy it, but I can't lie to you and tell you it won't hurt you because it's most likely that it would hurt you at first when I enter."