Loving Jason

Chapter twelve

DAISY

I awoke the next morning with a start. My breathing was heavy and shallow while sweat trickled down my forehead rapidly. I had one of my famous nightmares yet again. They weren't exactly what I would like to call a nightmare, it was more of a memory. It came crashing down full force, replaying itself exactly like it happened years ago.

I was sweating like mad, and I hated thinking about those memories, so I sat up, the duvet falling to my waist. My breathing controlled a bit, once I replaced every bad thought with something good.

I think I still have some gummy bears left, I thought quickly. Even though it made me smile, it couldn't relief me of my bad memories. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on it. I breathed in trying to relax, and slowly, mindlessly drifted off. My memories were vivid, sometimes like dreams, but most of the times I was sleeping. My mind was a bit too stubborn to try to replay any bad memories while I was awake.

I was always asleep, but this time, being more into my thoughts and open minded, everything was always more painful. Ten folds over.

I was leaning against my favorite windowsill, it smelled of old wooden oak, and rain due to the fresh breeze from the opened window. I was sitting with my legs folded under my bum, my arms crossed onto the windowsill and my chin resting between them. I smiled. I have always loved this. Just gazing outside the window, the fresh smell entering my nostrils as the loud sound of rushing cars and chattering people filled my ears.

Mom was downstairs, and as usual, arguing with Dad. I was already so used to it, so I drowned out any sounds of negativity and filled my mind with happy thoughts such as playing hide and seek with Michael and Sara. Or baking with Mrs. Williams next door. Or when mommy read me fairytales every night. Or when daddy would tuck me inside bed.

Mom and dad loved me, Mike and Sara very much and somehow they managed to display that love when they were alone, but both mom and dad put together was like a bomb full of hate and anger. Well, at least most of the time. I didn't know why they hated each other so much for most of their time, but also loved each other sometimes. It was frustrating.

I heard the sound of a glass smash. It was intense, but never this intense. I was startled, so I quickly stood up and rushed out of my room. I noticed Mike and Sara also rushing down the stairs, so I followed after them.

The living room was completely wrecked. We lived in a big and pretty house, so the living room was just generally big. When I got there the photo frames on the wall were laying broken on the floor, the couch pillows were all over the place, the peonies I remembered Dad giving Mom were lying crumbled on the floor and there were broken glass too. I noticed mom's set of Chinese Ming cups lying on the floor, broken. Perhaps I was so lost with the soothing sound of the outside world and all the fairytales in my head, the only thing I heard was the breaking glass and nothing else.

"You bitch!"

Both my siblings and I flinched when Dad yelled at Mom. Only then weve noticed his bloodied face. Mom had smashed a vase over his head.

I closed my eyes tightly and hugged my knees for some sort of comfort. Why was life so hard sometimes? Or forgot that, most of the time. It started with my mom and dad's cruelty, my siblings being separated from me and currently my stupid roommate who decided to kiss me and leave me in a mess of confused feelings.

I felt like the only thing I had going good for me was my friends and my studies.

I felt something shift besides me and I immediately moved away. The memories of last night came flooding back and I groaned, pushing the blankets off and stepping out of bed. Surprisingly I slept comfortably, and Jason hadn't rolled over me like I thought he would. He was drunk last night and surprisingly was a childish drunk.