Loving Jason

Chapter thirty-two

DAISY

Five days had passed.

Five days of being avoided by Jason and trying everything I could do to get him to talk to me. He avoided me endlessly, leaving in the morning before I could wake up and coming back to the dorm when I was asleep. I would have thought that he wasn't at the dorm entirely, if it weren't for the traces of evidence of himself he left behind everyday before he left. After three days I gave up trying to get him to talk to me, to get him to explain why he said those hurtful things.

I wanted to know why he would break my heart and leave it just like that.

I wanted to cry and beg him to talk to me, but I gave up trying. I looked like a goddamn fool, and he was probably laughing behind my back with his friends. Maybe this was a part of his plan all along. To sleep with his little virgin roommate and then bail on her and break her heart. I was not only heartbroken, but I was fucking livid.

How could he do that?

How could he let me trust him and then rip away that trust by just saying those painful words?

How could I have fell for someone I barely knew?

It was all my fault. I should have learned from the pass and never let this kind of heartbreak happen to me again. In the end, every person I loved always left me.

Tears formed in my eyes once again, but I wiped them away quickly with my sleave. I scanned my surroundings, hoping that no one was looking at me. Today I decided that I wanted to be alone. Away from my friends who, after finding out what happened, treated me like I was some fragile piece of artwork. And away from my dorm room that was filled with Jason's haunting scent. The only quiet yet loud place I could find was the bleachers of the soccer field. While the soccer players were louder than ever, the bleachers were quiet and left me in my own thoughts. It wasn't crowded, just a few people lurked around now and then.

My intention was to find a place where I could think peacefully and be left alone, but still hear the faint sound of human interaction. Just so that I wasn't truly alone.

I hugged my body tightly from the cold, lost in my frustrating thoughts. I was awfully afraid of losing Jason, and I hoped that this was just a phase for him. Maybe he was going through his man-periods and this was just a phase. Maybe he would snap out of it and stop goddamn avoiding me. There I was thinking that I actually meant something to him, when I was probably just one of this conquests this whole time.

Not only did this feeling hurt like a bitch, but it also damaged my pride. Maybe he just wasn't used to hearing people confess their love for them. Maybe he wasn't really an emotional kind of guy and freaked out. Or maybe he was afraid of commitment.

Or maybe he just don't love you back.

Ugh. I should have never told Alexis about my feelings. She was the one who told me to tell him. If I didn't tell him we would still be happily together and I wouldn't feel so afraid again.

Geez, I was pathetic.

"Watch out!" My eyes opened wide as I glanced toward the voice. It was Alexis standing at the last step of the bleachers, looking at me anxiously. I had no idea what she meant, when suddenly something hard hit me straight in the side of my face. I gasped as I fell sideways off the bleachers, catching myself on the second last step. A throbbing pain shot throughout the side of my face, the sore spot heating up painfully.

"Oh god," I breathed out, my hand shooting towards my face to assess the warm spot. My skin felt heated and raw, where the object had hit it with full force.