Loving Jason

Chapter forty-one

DAISY

I stared at Jason's note for hours. So little words, only three sentences could keep me so occupied when my filled textbooks were waiting to be read. I couldn't bring myself to do anything on the night with Jason gone. It's only been a few hours since I last saw him. My friends tried to contact me but I ignored them. I was too overwhelmed, too afraid to do anything. I couldn't face the world knowing that I have done a horrible thing, I have hurt the man I love. I couldn't forgive myself, so why would Jason want to?

In three hours, the clock would strike midnight and everyone would scream 'Happy new year!'. They were lying. It wasn't a happy new year. It was sad, gloomy and miserable. It was depressing and exactly the opposite of happy. My finals were in fifteen days and I had so many work to study, I didn't think I could cope. I would have to speak to one of the campus psychologists to extend my time of studying. To defer my exams to another date. I couldn't concentrate in this state. I was constantly worrying about Jason and what he might have done in his state of anger. I left him so many missed calls and text messages but he never responded or read it. I was so worried about him. He had a tendency to go rogue when he was hurt or angry. And right now, I could only imagine both.

I've puked my guts out in the toilet the morning, the two crackers I ate and the whole wheat sandwich coming out. I cried over the toilet bowl and my stomach churned in protest. It hurt so much. This wasn't normal, I should see the doctor immediately. And just when I needed Jason most, he wasn't here. I was feeling not only a bit angry at myself but also him for not believing me or giving me a chance to explain anything. I always gave him another chance no matter how much he hurt me, and I forgave him. It hurt to know that he didn't love me enough to do the same.

My friends and brother came over a few hours ago to invite me to a new years party but I declined. They could tell that something was wrong and offered to stay with me through the new year but I forced them to go and live their lives. No one's life should have hit pause because I was paying the consequences of my lies and mistakes. It would have been selfish of me to let them stay. After I recieved a bear hugs from each of them they finally left.

I was alone again in my misery and depression.

Happy new years to me.

Hours passed of me lying on my bed and mindlessly staring at the TV which was currently turned to cartoon network. The bright colours on the TV had no effect on me, my mind too preoccupied with thoughts about both Jason and Cassandra. I had opened boxes of Oreos, crisps, candy, chocolates and jars of Nutella on the bed next to me. I was stress eating but it wasn't helping a bit. Not even chocolate ice cream could cheer me up. I sighed and stood up from my laying position, ready to put on my pajamas. I was lounging around in black tights and a white tshirt all day long.

I was about to enter the walk-in closet when I heard a knock at the front door. I left the room to go downstairs and see who it was, having the thought in my mind that it might be Penny or Mavis. Or even Jason. Maybe he lost his key and finally decided to come home. I pulled the door open without thinking or even looking through the peephole.

Biggest mistake.

When I saw three strange men, I pushed the door closed immediately again quickly. Unfortunately, they were faster. I struggled but was quickly overpowered before the door came crashing open. I moved away from it immediately and without thinking, made a run for it towards the stairwell. My heart was beating so fast in fear and confusion, and I had absolutely no idea who those men were. I ran around the dining room table and towards the stairwell, when I see one of the men block my way. Turning around and with wide eyes I try to head to the balcony but my path was blocked once again by another man.