Chapter 34 I Take It We Need To...Talk

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The next time they opened Dean was putting me on my bed, stretching my legs out.

"What a fucking start to this year huh?" I chuckled drunkenly, throwing my legs over the side, undoing my jacket.

"Lila get some sleep, your hammered." Dean ordered, walking into the bathroom and running some cold water.

Sticking my tongue out I stood up, trying to wriggle out of my coat. I wasn't very steady on my heels and as I jerked the jacket off I threw it losing my balance and falling completely sideways with a thump. I let out a laugh, Dean standing at the doorway looking down at me.

"I left you alone for two seconds and you're on the floor." He groaned, setting the water on the table before pulling me up.

"Ya well me and shoes aren't the greatest of friends when I'm sloshed." I informed him, trying to unzip my shoe, leg bent behind me.

"I get that now." He nodded, pushing me back on the bed.

He grabbed my foot and pulled my shoe off, groaning in relief as he did the other, throwing my shoes in the corner. I sat back up, pulling the clip from my hair and sending it to join the shoes.

"Drink this water." He ordered, holding it out for me.

"Wait I have to change." I held up a finger, digging in my drawer, finding a long loose t-shirt.

I grabbed the zipper tugging on it but it was caught on the material in my dress. Turning I yanked on it only making it worse.

"Stop you're gonna rip it." Dean grumbled, swatting my hands away and pulling it down, letting me step out of it, throwing it in the corner.

"I could've done it myself." I retorted, slipping into the t-shirt.

"Lila two minutes ago you were on the floor." He pointed out and I shrugged, staggering to the bathroom and taking my make-up off sloppily.

Dean pulled the blankets back letting me crawl between the sheets before kneeling in front of me with the water. Taking it I drank half before handing it back, resting my head on my pillow. I heard him stand up, leaving the water on the table next to me.

"I didn't want you guys to know because I knew how much of a coward I was." I called out softly, seeing him stop and turn around, "I didn't want to tell you and then have that all you guys would see when you looked at me."

"Let's do this sober." He sighed, coming back to lean on the bed near my face, "I put you through enough tonight."

"Ya well tomorrow I might just be a coward all over again and not want to talk about it. Tomorrow I might walk out and see that look on all your faces that I saw tonight in the bathroom." I mumbled, leaning up on my elbow.

"You won't because you don't look at me like that and you've seen firsthand who I am." He murmured, pushing my hair from my face, "Just go to sleep."

"Ok." I nodded, closing my eyes and resting against the pillow.

I heard the door shut before I was out, dreams filled with Jeff and unsettling images of Dean, Roman and Seth's disappointed faces.

I could've sworn that I was dying when I woke up, every little noise amplified in my head as I came back to consciousness. Groaning I sat up, feeling my hair and wincing at the knots I felt forming. Throwing my blankets off I glanced down at the t-shirt I was in, groaning when I saw the cat on the front of it. I must have been royally drunk if I chose to wear this thing to bed, I hadn't wore it in years. Heading to the bathroom I turned to the shower on before turning to the mirror, wincing when I caught sight of my reflection. Stripping I jumped into the shower, groaning as the stream of water came into contact with my sore, pounding head. Forcing myself to stand there I washed my hair and let the heat relax my body, the pounding going away after a while. Getting out I wrapped myself in a towel I walked into my room, feeling better but still tired as I quickly got dressed. Tying my hair into a bun I left the room, hearing someone in the kitchen and I approached warily, knowing today was going to be full of awkward conversations.

"Hey how you feeling?" Roman asked, looking a bit tired but otherwise alright.

"I was pretty rough before I had a shower but I'm not too bad now, just in need of some coffee." I yawned, taking the cup he handed me.

Taking a few sips I could feel it settle my stomach and the rest of my headache went away, feeling back to normal. Heading to the dining room I sat at the table, Roman sitting next to me, his own coffee in his hands. There was for the first time, an awkward silence between us, the only sound in the room was the shower. I noticed that everything was cleaned up and I frowned.

"Did you clean up my house?" I asked, glancing around and seeing the dishwasher going.

"Ya I was up early, I didn't sleep great last night and I just thought I'd cleanup for you." He shrugged, his ponytail riding on his shoulder.

"Thanks I really appreciate it." I nodded, glancing away when he tried to meet my eyes.

Dean's door opened and he walked out, looking awake and dressed for the day, his hair slicked back. He saw me sitting there and faltered for a second before coming to sit with us, the tension in the room growing more unbearable. Seth came out of the bathroom, sweats on and he looked only a little better than I did. He poured his coffee and then sat next to Dean, all four of us silent, my fingernails tapping against my cup.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Seth asked finally, everyone turning to look at him.

"Ya I remember everything," I nodded, crossing my legs on the chair, "I take it we have some...things to talk about."

"Ya I think we do." Roman agreed, glancing down at me.


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