Chapter 95 Not Your Fault & Mid-Flight Confessional

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We sat parked in the parking of the airport, Deans hands resting on the steering wheel as he contemplated everything I said. It was unbearably quiet, the radio off as though to add to the complete drama of everything. I could see the mas over his face, hiding every emotion from me and I blew my nose in the tissue quietly, making him break his gaze for a second, glancing at me.

"Please say something." I murmured, not able to handle the uncharacteristic silence from him.

Letting out a breath I felt he had been holding in for awhile he sat back in the seat, rubbing a hand over his beard, the raspy noise filling the cab of the truck. I had told him everything, every little detail and I felt miserable but a little bit of weight had lifted off my shoulders.

"You can't control how people feel about you Lila." He finally spoke, making your eyes snap to his face, "If Hardy fell in love with you that's not because of you, it's because he fell in love and there's not a lot you can do about it."

"But I broke his heart." I whispered, feeling my lip trembling all over again.

"Yeah you did." He stated simply, making my eyes well up with tears all over again, "But that's not your fault. You're with Seth. Jeff is one of your best friends. Once he's over it, he will be again."

"I just feel so awful." I sniffled, wiping the fresh tear off my face.

"I'm not good at this Lila." Dean groaned, raking his fingers through his hair before turning as best as he could to face me, "I don't do deep heart to heart comforting talks. I can't stand to see you tear yourself apart over this. Look best friends sometimes fall in love and sometimes its only a one way street. Hardy will get over it if he loves you and if you are his best friend."

"How do you know that?" I questioned, raising my red rimmed eyes to find Dean's staring intently at me, worry flashing through them.

"Because I..." he began, trailing off as his icy blue eyes searched my face, "Because if I was in his position I wouldn't want to lose you. If it came down to watching you be with Seth or anyone else I would rather do that then lose you completely."

The simplicity of his words and the softness of which he delivered it penetrated through the vortex of feelings and made me stop. I never wanted to hurt Jeff or lose him but I knew I would if I had let myself be with him. I wanted him in my life, as my best friend like we had always been. That had never been clearer then in this moment and I let out a breath, feeling like all the bad feelings flowed out with it. Dean must have sensed it as he leaned back, looking less worried that I was about to completely lose it. Sighing deeply I leaned back against the seat, my head falling to the right as I looked at Dean.

"I have no idea what I would have done if you weren't here." I sighed, resting my hands in my lap, "You always seem to be around when my life is falling apart."

"Someone's gotta do it." He shrugged casually making the first chuckle of the day come out of my mouth, "Come on we, got a flight to get to."

Hiding the keys in the truck I left the back door open as we grabbed our bags and headed into the airport. Hiding my still red eyes behind sunglasses we got our tickets out and swiftly made our way to the waiting area. I sat quietly next to Dean who sat next to me, legs sprawled out in front of him as we waited patiently. Closing my eyes I tried to sort through my thoughts, the last week completely making me unfocused.

"You're gonna have to pull yourself together before we get back." Dean commented softly, dropping his arm over the back of my seat casually, "Seth and Roman will know somethings up, they know you as well as I do."

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