Smoke and Mirrors : Royal Angels I

Picky cat lady

~Victoria~

"So my brother wants to fück you. Congratulations."

I took a long hard look at Kiera.

The woman was munching on potato chips, sitting cross legged in front of my TV watching reruns of Project Runway.

Because clearly there weren't any other flatscreens in this huge äss house that would've put the Playboy mansion to shame.

"Gee." I rolled my eyes, trying to pick a dress to wear tonight. "I should be so lucky."

"Oh yeah." She held up a chip in narration. "He's very, um, picky."

"Biscuit wouldn't know 'picky' if it hit him over the head multiple times."

Picky was me going through a hundred and six dresses in the last hour and still not have something to wear on a stupid little dinner date.

Perks of being a neurotic adult female.

I sighed in annoyance at the glaring lack of clothes here that didn't have frills or satin or anything else I'd want to be buried in. Everything looked like it belonged to Jane Eyre's great grandmother.

I gave up and joined Kiera on the sofa, watching a woman in a lime green patchwork dress walk down the runway.

I almost sobbed.

Unfortunately, even that monstrosity would've been acceptable.

Hell, a plastic bag would've been an upgrade to what I was working with.

"Why do I smell reeking desperation in the air?" Kiera asked, her eyes still glued to the screen.

"I don't have anything to wear."

Kiera looked at me.

"So what are we going for?" Her eyes lit up with excitement. Honestly, that terrified me. "Romantic, classy, modest, decent?"

"Raunchy." I said, without hesitation. "See, your brother and I have a little bet going."

I explained my terms to her. She kept her face strictly professional.

"I see." She gave me a once over, pulling her dark hair into a bun. "You want to give him something to talk dirty about."

"I want to give Mr. Picky a very hard time being holy tonight."

Kiera got up, her eyes mischievous.

"I have just the thing."

An hour later, I was in her room all ready, standing in front of the mirror. Kiera had exceeded all my expectations, going above and beyond the call of duty.

"One last thing."

She put an oversized black coat over me, that covered every inch of my skin, except my fingers and my face.

I looked at the potato sack that I'd turned into. I almost groaned.

"This isn't helping."