Smoke and Mirrors : Royal Angels I

Sir Biscuit Junior

~Xavier~

"I have a very important question to ask you."

Victoria arched an eyebrow, as I climbed up the oak tree.

Because randomly showing off your tree climbing skills to the chick you want to bang is hella attractive.

I'd decided we needed a small break from everything so I suggested the log cabin in the woods, behind the mansion.

Ask her to stay with you alone in a creepy house in the middle of nowhere.

Because that does not make you sound like a psychopath.

After much convincing, she finally agreed to take a hike with me to check it out.

I was about to lend her a hand to help her up the tree before I remembered I was dating Tarzan.

She attacked the poor tree like a piranha on land.

"Well, how important is your question?" Victoria asked me conversationally, as she hauled herself up. ""Why does the table always have to stub your little toe?" important or "which celebrity can we have a threesome with?" important?"

""Can we make a life altering change?" important." I said solemnly. "And for the record, the answer to the last question is and always will be Margot Robbie."

Victoria vividly thought about herself in pigtails and Harley Quinn's tight little shorts and I almost fell off my branch.

"Shame I'm not daddy's lil monster." She was hanging like a lemur, her long legs dangling in the air in front of me.

I caught one of her ankles and pulled her down so she landed butt-first with an "oof" on my lap.

"Of course not. You're the devil's lil tiger."

I expected her signature smack.

Instead I got another one of her mental pictures - her in geek glasses, in that short blond wig, and Dr. Quinzel's outfit.

"Oh, but I prefer no panties with my pencil skirts." She said casually.

That was a smack alright.

And she knew damn well where that smack fell too, because she was straddling the front of my pants.

"Well played." I said, artistically cupping her äss. "I see that rule applies to tights too, doctor."

She blushed.

Because hand holding is for losers. True romance lies in äss holding.

On a fücking tree.

"Dear God." She muttered. "Your important question is "can we do it right here with the squirrels watching?", isn't it?"

"Nope." I said seriously. "I was actually talking about getting a cat."

"What is with you and the cats?" She shook her head.