An Exhaustive Search

College

It's a week before college,
The last week of summer,
I have nothing better
To do than roam around
My house, pacing as heat
Seeps through my skin,
Bound to lose my mind.

I can't stop time,
Nor can I fast forward
Or go backward,
Just wait 'till the day comes,
And brace the new change.

Not too long ago,
I was a high school graduate
With a diploma that states
I am ready to enter
A new era of my life.

I felt a sense of accomplishment,
A sense of entitlement,
Especially when I received compliments,
Now I lay in bed
With the joy replaced by dread.

I hated school,
Thought it was uncool
With all that stress,
But to be honest,
I actually miss those days.

College will be harder,
Hopefully only for being faster
Paced, but I got this feeling
It's going to be way more than that.

A week later,
Now it's my first week of college,
Boy do the syllabus
Of each teacher
Scare me, why must
This be the case?

I was right about the pacing,
High school advance placement
Courses were said to be college level,
Why I always neglected such classes,
But all I was doing
Was delaying the inevitable.

The grades are weighted,
How this works is that certain
Categories are broken
Down by percentages.

A constant are tests
Being worth the most,
Any other category
Like homework and classwork
Being worth the least.

Let's pause and reflect,
You'd think the higher the worth,
The more work you'd receive,
But take a second to blink
'Cause the opposite is true.

A class could have one test,
A thousand mini-assignments,
But regardless of the amount,
None will offset the other
Because of each work's isolation
To a specific section.

I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to it,
Why I want nothing more than to spit
At each syllabus I receive,
Just to relieve
All this stupid stress
That makes my mind a mess.

There's no playing around
Because if I do, I am bound
To fail the courses,
And not only will it be a shame,
But also a waste of money.

I can't do this,
No I can't have that mindset,
Instead, I must pick up the pencil,
Clench my fist,
And have an attitude of positivity,
Not negativity.

I know I will get used
To the demands of college,
My brain may cut a fuse,
But that's only temporary
'Cause I will make this my party.