An Exhaustive Search

Caged

This is no love poem,
If you think so,
I'll have you know
That a fist will be driven
Through your chest
And I could care less
If you shed tears
'Cause that will be music to my ears.

There's this someone,
It could've been anyone,
Or everyone
Else I encountered,
But this person
Caught my eyes,
For she's the one
Who spices
My daily life.

It's like a knife
Has pierced my heart,
I mean an arrow,
But either way,
It was sharp,
I could've lost my life,
But my existence
Was preserved
To the present tense.

Now I'm caged,
Imprisoned at the spot,
Filled with rage
Because I didn't sign
Up for this,
And she thinks I'm fine
With such arrangement
Even when I clench my fist.

Swearing my loyalty
Wasn't part of the plan,
I saw it as irrationality,
But this is the reality
Of the situation.

Where we started,
I found her shrouded in misery,
I treated her I would a baby,
Made her happy,
And she did the same
For me, and I thought
We'd just remain
Friends, but I was wrong,
So now I wear that shame.

I can't leave,
It wasn't meant
To be this way,
Yet we've grown dependent
And I'm compelled to stay
By her side
Until the end of my days,
The end of my life.

I'm not saying I'm unhappy,
Rather I'm happy around her,
Just that I can't deny
Those times of doubt
Where I wonder
On whether
I'm actually in love.

I remember writing
Poems about her,
So much poetry
That it turned into a collection
I found worthy for publication,
So an audience
Could revel in its beauty,
Need I keep stressing?

Now I just contradicted myself,
One line I say I feel caged,
Angry at my predicament,
And the next line
I admit to this urge
To hold her hand,
Where we stand
To witness the sunset.

Can't I make up my mind
About my first
Love who's been the subject
Of many verses
I've carved in dedication to her?

This is so foolish,
People say I should cherish
The time I have with her,
Otherwise what I have will perish,
But how can I love someone
And at the same time,
Imagine life without her,
Without the touch
That gives me utmost joy.

Love is a cage,
That much can be said,
I may want to clench my fist,
Even show her this letter,
But I can't deny she makes
Me happy as she takes
Away the pain
That lies inside my head,
So I can lay down in bed
Happily every night.

To where can I end,
I've wasted all my ink,
Now I gotta buy a new pen,
And that really stinks.