An Exhaustive Search

Losing Friends

Take me back to middle school,
I have this group of friends,
They are so cool,
I wish my bond won't end.

I take my friends for granted,
Rather than treat them correctly,
I bully them for fun,
Passing it off as a joke.

They tolerate my behavior,
Even give me countless chances
To be their friend,
But I continuously hurt them.

At times, I think about changing
My ways, but I'm too shy to express
Such desires, causing
Them to think I'm nowhere near the best
Person to hang out with.

I have this tendency to play rough,
When they say enough,
I don't listen,
Not thinking my welcome
To the group could wear out.

I try to change my ways,
Try to soften
Up on my rough behavior,
But it just so happens
That I am addicted.

Once, I explain to them
That all I want is to have fun
With them, but they threaten
Abandonment if I keep misbehaving.

Only when I lose my friends
Do I realize the impact of my actions,
Making me wish I could go back
In time to make corrections
For all of my transgressions.

They were generous,
Far more than most
People, but I went too far,
And now I suffer this lost.

Years has passed,
Now it's the present day,
And still regret stays
With me, made worse whenever
I reflect upon the past.

It may be too late,
Too late to say sorry
And be friends again,
But I am sorry for all of my deeds,
I never wanted this to end this way.