An Exhaustive Search

Loving Imperfections

We expected it to be perfect,
To have everything fall into place
Just like the fairytales.

We've had our highs and lows,
Some say more highs,
Others say more lows,
And we say about equal,
What matters is that
We're still together.

Obstacles were thrown our way,
Stuff that led to heated fights
That should've torn us apart,
But it didn't, for we
Managed to grow past it,
Using our conflicts as a means
To solidify our bonds
Rather than drift apart.

I'm proud of you,
So proud I challenged you
To grow for the better,
And just as proud you
Did the same for me
Because without you,
I'd still be lost.

You pushed me to be braver,
To voice my thoughts,
Use any medium to do so,
For it didn't matter what,
It could've been letters,
Art, poetry, essays, speeches,
Any of the combination and
Those unlisted, just that
They served their purpose.

I wanted my comfort zone,
To stay there because
That was all I knew,
For I was too scared
To voice my thoughts
Due to this fear
Of being misunderstood,
Being seen as a rebel
Deserving to be imprisoned.

You knew my pain,
How painful it was to live with the fear,
I hated how you challenged me,
But you made it bearable,
More than anyone in my life.

Even in the smallest step,
The tiniest step possible,
You were proud of me,
You knew how long it took
For me to grow,
Even with any little step,
You found reason to be proud of.

I'm comfortable speaking to you,
How I can be vulnerable around you,
How you let me be vulnerable,
And cheer me up,
You know I can do better,
But you're proud to know
I'm at least brave around you.

You found a way to love me,
Love me for who I am,
Showed me unconditional love
While at the same time,
Encouraging me to be
The best version of myself.

I pushed you to achieve
Higher education,
Was open to several ways
You could do so until
We found a way that works.

That was after I made you happy,
Call this phrase a cliche,
But it was your ratio,
A thousand reasons to hate life
With only one reason to love life,
And I'm so proud of you
For viewing that one reason
Enough to outweigh the bad.

It was personal growth,
You growing mentally,
Changing your negative thinking
Into positive thinking,
Which in turn made you
Motivated to navigate the world.

I'm well aware I wasn't always
This warm, supported person to you,
I'm well aware I can be very pushy,
And I ask myself how I was able
To be compassionate, patient,
And understanding
To your vulnerabilities
When I'm the opposite
To your education needs.

Even though you're behind
In education, at a job
That doesn't pay you well,
You make the best out of it,
Even accumulating
Thousands of dollars in the bank.

I get mad at your money spending,
Thinking that if I was in your place,
I would be having panic attacks,
And the only way to relieve them
Is to aim as much of the money
As possible to education
And paying off bills.

I suggest a way to you,
Yet you always find another,
Another way that works,
Even if I don't see the genius in it,
For the more you do your way
Or find another way yourself,
You prove me wrong.

You've got your high school diploma,
Now you're at college,
I may still dictate your actions,
But I'm actually proud of your rebellion
Because it shows me that
You must know something I don't.

You have a job,
College to attend,
And a driving school,
Yet you find a way
To have fun,
Even spend your money
Both on your desires and needs.

I'm not quick to admit this,
But that inspires me,
It teaches me a way
I could continue
Balancing out fun and work.

I admit my biggest flaw,
I find a reason to be mad at you,
It reaches a point I forget
The reasons to be proud of you,
Where I must ground myself
And remind myself
That I can do better.

We expected it to be perfect,
To have everything fall into place
Just like the fairytales,
Even though that isn't the case,
I love you for who you are
Including your imperfections.