The truth in our songs

Chapter 5

Maia-Jane Miller

I came home and to my surprise was the house empty and silent, no snores, no yelling, no loud tv voices, nothing. It was like all the unwanted things had vanished and I was finally welcomed with my own embrace. I walked upstaires to throw my bag onto my bed and get ready for my job.

I was working in a restaurant as a waitress to earn some money for food, it was a shitty job and definitely not made for me. I was very clumsy if it came to balance and equilibrum which was not accepted by my boss. He dragged me forth and back, almost liked seeing me struggle but somehow he didn't fire me. I just didn't get it, I was very bad in my position and instead of throwing me out or not paying he just made fun of me in front of everyone. It was fine, I guessed because at the end of the day I needed the money.

My hands fumbled a black tight jenas out of my wardrobe and I put on a white tight long-sleeved shirt with a red  short-sleeved blouse where the logo was printed on. My hair got put up into a ponytail and the only thing that didn't change were my yellow converse. The outfit was ugly already, no need to try to fix it. Actually I didn't care how I looked because no one else did.

My worn clothes got thrown at my desk chair and landed on the ground, talented. But I didn't look at it a second time, emptied my bag on my bed and grabbed it after my whole school stuff was messily spread on my cold blanket. With my disfunktioning leg I tried to rush down the stairs because the clock had told me that I was late again. With one grip the door gor ripped open and before I was able to fall out of it I froze in place.

My eyes that screamed for sleep widened more and I just wanted to rub them aggressively, to stop hurting from the lack of rest I'd gotten during the last weeks. I stared and couldn't do anything else but just stare. I had forgotten- in that moment I realized how many things I had forgotten and I just wanted to slam the door shut, run back to my room and hide under a random blanket until someone would wake me up and tell me that I had just taken a quick nap and that everything was fine and normal und uncomplicated. But it wasn't.

,, What are you doing here? ,, I asked more surprised than shocked.

,, We talked- a few days ago? ,, the boy answered and looked at me back in surprise. ,, Don't say that you forgot- ,,

,, I did? ,, was my helpless answer and he smiled a little bit. How could everyone expect form me to remember everything- that was a lot to ask in my case. ,, Sorry, what did we talk about again? ,, I smiled apologetically.

,, Are you kidding? ,, he laughed and threw his head back while I stood there dumbly because I was definitely not joking. ,, Oh- you're not. ,,

,, I am really sorry- but could you hurry up? Because I have to get to work or I'm probably being fired. ,, I asked him and he nodded.

,, We actually wanted to go out together. ,, he mumbled.

,, Oh- ,, my eyes widened and I stared at the ground. That was embarrassing, I didn't want to imagine how bad he felt right now. And when in the actual fuck had I texted with him?

,, I am sorry. We could go out tomorrow? ,, I just wanted to fix what I had messed up without even knowing it, my sleep played games with my mind.

,, That would be great! ,, his eyes brightened a bit and I smiled slightly but then I remembered that I had to walk all the way to the restaurant and started to panic. My dad's car was not in our small parking lodge and I couldn't ride my bike because I never learned how- it was questionable why I even had a bike but that was just something that didn't need to be understood.