The truth in our songs

Chapter 64

Maia-Jane Miller

Chloe-Orlena Davis was buried on May 5th.

Her funreal was held in the light of the morning sun, Blake and Nicolas had dug the hole while I stood numbly and watched them, my white dress covered in blood just like my hands. There was blood on Blake's white shirt, where I'd buried my fingernails in when he'd pulled me away and held me. And then there was Dillon. The curly boy held the dead girl in his arms, his dead love, clutching tightly, looking down at her sleep looking pale face.

Her tombstone stood in the fields of wildflowers next to the field where the tree stood on the backyard of Blake's mansion. I couldn't remember how we'd gotten away from the castle on the hills. But I remembered that Nicolas had yanked Dillon up from the ground who lifted Chloe's dead body from the floor and how Blake had lifted me up because I'd broken down right in his arms. The men lied unconsciously on the floor when we passed them in a run. Down the small staircase and to the cars that had not been parked with the others but behind a little forest through which we ran when escaping.

The smell of moss still lingered in my hair, my feet were still bare and dirty. Nicolas' blonde hair was messy and his forhead coated in sweat. Blake looked defeated and Dillon looked broken. I watched them all, how they digged the dirt out of the shoveled hole, without looking up, without pausing once, without taking a break. My hands lied on my sides, the white glove clutched tightly in my hand.

The glove.

If I had paid more attention, I would have realized that when I was pulling her with me, I ripped the glove from her hands when i pulled her with me to the others. I had accidentally left her behind and now all that was left, all I had- was the glove, which i held tightly in my hand- the whole time fighting the stranger. Believing- foolishly, believing I was holding her, while I was holding a piece of fabric.

She died- died because she'd come to save me. She died because of me and I could not feel more guilty. Not only had she lost her life meaningless, but also parents had lost their innocent child without knowing it. She had given up her life to come save me and I had let her. I couldn't save her. I had not been able to save her.

A tear rolled down my eyes as I watched Blake and Nicolas stepping away from the grave and letting Dillon slowly step forward. I watched him look at her for one last time in his arms, her hands hanging to her sides, when he pressed a last kiss to her forhead and then, gently lowered her down the hole. He lied her in it as if she'd been lied on a bed. A tear rolled down my eyes when i saw a tear rolling down his when he stepped away. And a tear fell to the ground, into the sea of flowers when I saw how Blake pulled him into a hug, a tight apologizing and grieving hug. And Nicolas stepped forward to them and wrapped his arms around the two of them as well.

I stood there and looked at the dead flower in the middle of the field, lying still in a hole. A soft breeze blew over from the neighboured field where the tree stood and I looked up to see the soft pattern of its blossoms flying over to us in the wind. They softly moved in the wind and some lied themselves on top of her body, like a blanket, like taking her soul with them, to the sky, carrying it out into freedom.

Moments passed and I barely recognized when the grave was fully filled again and her body could not be seen anymore. it just made me cry even more. But it was me who stepped toward her now and the others looked up when they saw me move. I felt Blake's eyes on me, I felt his desire to embrace me and comfort me but he gave me space. I didn't look at them when i lifted my hands up to my hair and picked the daisies out of them. With cold fingers, I lied the small flowers on top of the grave and stepped two steps back. ,, Goodbye, Chloe ,, I whispered and felt how my body broke into sobs.