The truth in our songs

Chapter 13

Maia-Jane Miller

Between that party I had lost sight of Anna, had talked to Blake who was surprisingly calm and got dragged away from Benjamin. We were in the ernormous kitchen and he put a drink in my hand, I could smell the alcohol from his mouth and scrnched my nose a bit. Hopefully, he wasn't like my father when he drunk.

But Benjamin was more confident, not in a bad way just in an unexpected way. He had mentioned for me to hop on the kitchen counter while preparing the drink. I couldn't see what it was but he mixed different things in one bowl, shook it and then poured the liquor in one of the unused red cups which were piled on top of each other. In that moment I felt like on of those girls that were dancing in the living room, but I didn't want to be like them. I didn't want to be undressed with a look. Yet, when Benjamin gave me the drink with a friendly smile, I took it.

It remained in m hands and I really hoped that he would not come and stand between my legs now. He didn't. Instead he leaned in front of me against the sink and looked at me with his memorable eyes. I nodded towards the drink to give him a thank you and he waved it off.

,, Try it. I made it myself. ,, he said proudly and I looked down at it. I knew it since I watched him preparing it for me.

I wasn't reckless. I did not know what he had mixed together and maybe there was something else in it, I better should not take to me. That was one of the most reasons why I hated parties, you never knew if you could trust someone or should not even change a word with them. As nice as Benjamin was, I did not trust him with the tipple.

,, That's kind. I just don't, uhm- I don't drink. ,, I apologised and placed the cup beside me.

,, Oh, you could have told me. I'll give you a cup of water instead. ,, he immediatly reached behind him for another unused cup and filled it with water from the sink. I watched him precisely and because my eyes were on the cup through the hole time, I knew that I could drink it. He certainly hadn't filled the water pipe with knockout drops or something like that. I thanked him and took the water.

,, You could tell me what you put in that other cup. So I at least know what's in it. ,, I suggested.

,, Strawberry brandy with lemongrass and a dash of vodka. ,, I tried to hide my disgust and looked impressed. Thank god, I didn't take a sip of it.

,, That's...wow. Yes, definitely the most yukky thing someone ever made for me. ,, I laughed and he rubbed the back of his neck and laughed at my judgment

,, Hey- ,, he nudged my arm and I leaned back so that he couldn't reach it.

,, What did you and Blake talk about? ,, his sudden curiousity didn't confuse me.

,, Oh, just- nothing special. Cigarettes, you know. ,, I shrugged and looked down at my hands.

,, He is no good. ,, Benjamin said and I remembered that night where he had told me the same sentence.

,, And I can take care of myself. ,, I smiled at him to not sound mean. Blake was no good and I knew that but then again, who was that anyway? We were all bad people in some ways.

,, Can I kiss you? ,, his voice was not unsure or shy, just asking me simple if he could kiss me. Like it was the easiest thing to ask a girl.

Normally, no one wanted to come in touch with my lips, or anything that had to do with me.

,, And why should I allow you so? ,, I sassed back and lifted my chin up. He looked cute, his dimples and curls that were messy on his head. Those blue eyes I had got to know a few months ago.