The truth in our songs

Chapter 49

Maia-Jane Miller

I woke up at night because someone was screaming. Terribly screaming.

I heared it muffled, as if trying to drown the screams, to quieten them. The sleep that had just been in my bones vanished and I ripped the blankets off of my body. My shaking feet got out of bed and I froze the minute I realized that this room, was not mine. The furniture was different, the window bigger and I hurried over to it immediatly. My hands parted the curtains and a sigh rippled through me. I remembered where I was. I was in Blake's house. The one that stood in this rich neighbourhood. The streets were empty and the street lamps shining calmly in the darkness of the night.

But I still heared thse painfilled louds, that had now turned into whimpering. My bare feet quietly hushed over the carped floor of my room and I inaudibly opened the door. I didn't know why I could not just stay in bed, why my noisy ass had to step out of that room. But I did not hesitate, not once when I crossed the floor and walked on it- to the other side. I knew Blake's bedroom had to be somewhere over there and I followed the sounds that escaped from one of the doors. I just stiffened when i stood in front of the large closed door, in the dark floor- I stiffened when i realized that it was him. Those screams, they were from him.

I ever so gently pushed the doorknowb down and stepped inside the dark room. The curtains were closed and wasn't it for the moonlight that was shinign through the slits of those curtains, I would have not been able to see him, anything. But my eyes caught a shilouette, huddled on the mattress, the blanket gripped tightly in his hands as sob after sob escaped his lips. my eyes fell to his bare chest, which was panting and riding up and down too fast, he lied there in short sweatpants and nothing more. My eyes gazed over his eyes that were squeezed shut painfully. He was asleep. 

He was dreaming, having a nightmare because the moonlight fell up on him softly, he was tense on the bed, his knuckles were stiff as they held onto his blanket so tigthly. He sobbed again, a little aching painfilled sound escaped his lips that made my heart stop. I let the door quietly fall shut behind me and hurried over to him. He whimpered and apologized and whimpered and pleaded. Over and over again. I did not understand what he was saying but one look over his features, his tender face that always looked so calm and amused- now looked terrified.

I kneeled in front of his bed and took his hands softly in mine. He did not let go of the blanket, only grabbed it more tightly ,, No- ,, he whispered ,, No- please...please don't take her from me. Please- ,, his pleading and whisper, his broken voice let pain jolt through my chest. He looked so broken.

,, Blake ,, I said quietly and gently stroke over his hand ,, Blake- it's Maia. You're save, you're okay, you're dreaming ,, I spoke quietly, calmly even though I was scared myself. i had never seen him in such a condition before. He didn't hear me, he shook his head and huddled up more and more.

,, Please- ,, he whispered, his voice suddenly sounding so young, so innocent ,, I- I couldn't- I couldn't save her ,, he broke out ,, Please don't take her from me- ,, a tear. A tear rolled down his cheek and then another one. I was shocked, too shocked to react. He was crying. But I had to wake him up, i would not let him endure such nigthmares.

I gently stroke over his hand again, then his sweaty clammy hair and wiped the tears away that escaped his closed eyes ,, Blake ,, I said softly carefully ,, Blake- you're dreaming. You're having a nightmare. It's not real. It's a dream, just a dream. It is not real ,, I spoke calmy in a whisper and stroke over his cheek, his hair, in gentle movements. Over and over again.

Suddenly his hand grabbed mine, the one on his cheek, strong and clammy. He held it tightly and my eyes widened because I did not know if he still dreamed or not. ,, I couldn't save her ,, his voice said in a broken whisper and I nodded quietly although he couldn't see it. But then his eyes opened slightly and he saw me, looked at me. His one hand let go of the blanket and the other hand still closed around mine and I let him, because he needed a hand to hold right now and I would let him ,, I couldn't save her ,, he repeated and he sounded like a young boy, someone so young and broken. I stroke his hair as I still kneeled in front of his bed.