I am Happy | Seon Ahyeon TeStar

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Am I really bad? Everyone says so. That I am just acting nice and pretending to be good. I don't understand them at all.

"Our Seon Ahyeon is as good as always!"

"Did you have fun in your practice my baby?"

Mom and Dad, both of them cheer me up like always. They never blame me for my stutter. They are so kind to me. They love me too. If only all people are like them...

"Ahyeon?"

"A-ah, yes... i-it was fun"

No, it is not. I enjoy dancing. It is fun. But the people there...

""...?""

As if noticing the changes in my natural smile, I wave my hands trying to let them know that I am fine. All I ever do is to give them worries. I shouldn't make them worry too much.

"I-I just s-saw a wounded d-dog a while ago. I f-felt bad b-but! The d-dog is treated a-already! I am j-just a little w-worried"

It is not like I am lying. I did saw an injured dog a while ago. I am a bit worried but seeing how the corgi is treated right away, I think it is not that bad. Of course, I had other worries than that. Somehow, I feel bad. I am blessed to have my mom and dad as my family. They give me what I need. They love me. They support me. But I still can't feel so great.

My stutter, we tries all we could do but it is still the same.

As if it will never be gone in my life...

"Aw... our Ahyeon must be really worried. Shall we visit it to check how he is doing?"

"Right, we can even adopt it if you want"

"N-No need! A man with g-glasses and black hair s-seems to be his o-owner... and I t-think the dog i-is doing f-fine!"

Indeed, it is unlucky how he is a pet dog. If only- no! What am I even thinking? Shouldn't I be happy that he is in good state? Maybe the others are right about me... that I am just acting kind and is a bad guy inside...

Maybe that is why I have no friends at all...

Because they are right...

***

"Seon Ahyeon?"

"..."

"Ahyeon? Are you alright?"

"Huh? Moondae?"

"You suddenly turn pale so I wake you up... nightmare?"

Looking around, I saw the familiar accommodation. The other guys are also lying down, some in the sofa while Eugene and Raebin are on the floor.

Did I fall asleep?

"Ahyeon, water?" Keun Sejin handed me a glass of water. I hesitated to get it but still accepted it in the end.

"T-thank you..."

Looking at him smiling, he always do that but somehow... it was different. The same thing for Moondae looking at me with a bit of worry on his face. Is it because of that dream I had?

I thought that the day when I will have a friend won't come. But somehow, a luck seems to be given to me.

"Ahyeon hyung, do you want some popcorn?"

"Hey that is unfair! I am asking Eugene to give me some but you wont give me!"

"That is because RAPIN didn't give me my own song, you have favoritism. How can you give it to Moodae hyung first?"

"Cha Eugene!"

I slightly giggled with the common quarrel of those two.

The time I look at Moondae, there was a relief small smile on his face. Even Sejin chuckled. Chungwoo and Bae Sejin came holding a bag of ice cream that they bought.

"We are back"

"Chungwoo hyung! Wow ice cream!"

They are so noisy as always. But it is fun. I am glad...

I am really happy to be part of this group. Even if I am undeserving...

Moondae then handed me one of the ice creams that Bae Sejin handed out. I can't remove the smile on my face.

"Ah! So it was ice cream!" Cha Eugene shouted which made Raebin frown.

"Of course, it is ice cream"

"No, RAPIN it is not that"

"Huh?"

"Ah, nothing"

I look at the ice cream I am holding. It is cold but yet my heart... it feels so warm.

"Thank you guys"

I mumbled and soon earn a small silence before Lee Sejin patted me on the back.

"Why so sudden? Do you want my portion as well? I can give it to you if you say Keun Sejin is the best!"

Laughter echoed in the living room.

Indeed, this room... it is living.


-Sun Ahyeon TeStar 

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