No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

3 - To Get Me To Say Yes

I was like a cat on hot bricks the following day, waiting for Karen to call. The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became about the whole conversation the previous day: from the way she had approached me, pretending she cared about my feelings, to the fact she hadn't even told Harry she was going to contact me. The whole thing disgusted me, and I couldn't wait to tell her so, and put her firmly in her place. 

A little voice at the back of my mind kept trying to suggest I was using Karen as an outlet for my unresolved anger towards Harry for the way he had behaved, but I wouldn't let it speak, and instead channelled my thoughts into the pending confrontation.

I picked up my bag at lunchtime and had barely made it to the door when my phone began to ring.

"Hello, Karen," I said curtly, stopping in Reception and sitting down on one of the chairs.

"Hi, Jess," she said brightly. "How are you doing today?"

"Fine," I answered shortly.

"Good," she breezed. "I was just wondering if you'd had chance to think about what we discussed yesterday?"

"Yes, I have," I said confidently.

"And...?" She let the question hang.

"I haven't changed my mind. I'm not doing it. And quite frankly, I'm disgusted you had the audacity even to suggest it."

Karen sighed. "I had a feeling you were going to say that."

"There is no way I am letting the public think I am having anything to do with that lying, cheating piece of scum," I began. "I couldn't care less what other people think of him! And if he was so bothered about his own image, he wouldn't have done what he did! But that's his problem isn't it - he doesn't ever have to face consequences, because you and everyone else around him continually wipe his ąrse for him. He doesn't live in the real world, so it's no wonder he thinks he can do what he likes, without a thought for the people he loves! Or doesn't love, in my case. Well let me tell you, I am not playing your game. I never intended to get involved this deep, and how I wish I could go back in time and erase the last few months. I wouldn't have gone near him if I'd known it would end like this! So you can just tell him to find someone else to be his pretend girlfriend, because I am NOT INTERESTED!"

My chest was heaving, my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. Thankfully, though, my voice remained steady.

"He does love you, Jess," Karen said softly.

"No he doesn't," I snapped, my voice wobbling. Damn, I'd been doing so well. "He told me in no uncertain terms that he'd got it wrong. So don't try and spin me some shıte just to make me feel sorry for him."

"I'm not," she said. "I wouldn't do that."

"Yes you would!" I laughed shortly. "You'd do anything to protect the boys."

"Well.... yes OK, maybe I would. But I'm not lying to you about this. Whatever happened, I know he loves you. And he's hurting."

As soon as I heard those last three words, the tears that had been brimming in my eyes since she first told me Harry loved me spilled down my cheeks.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered miserably.

"I'm trying to make this easier on Harry," she said gently. "Whether you believe this or not, he was deeply affected by Zayn leaving. It rocked his whole world, and made him question everything. And the last couple of weeks have made him worry even more about what the future holds for him."

"What do you mean, the last couple of weeks?" I asked.

"There's just been some... unsettlement in the band lately," she said carefully.