No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

53 - Show Me You Care

"Three and a half?!" I echoed, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "You've written three and a half songs about me?"

"Well, they're just the ones for our album, yeah," he said. "I've been writing a lot of stuff over the summer. Some for One Direction, some for potential solo stuff. You've been a pretty heavy influence."

"Oh my God, Harry," I breathed. How could I even begin to process this? My entire body was shaking.

"I couldn't get you out of my head, so it makes sense you're in my songs," he said in a rush.

"Can I hear the others?" I asked, timidly.

He shrugged awkwardly. "If you want."

"Of course I do. I want to hear everything you write," I enthused. "Will I need to pull over again though? I am best waiting here while I listen to them?"

He smiled. "The others aren't as sad as If I Could Fly. I think you'll be OK."

"What are they called?" I asked as I dried the last of my tears on my sleeve.

"Um, Olivia, and Walking In The Wind."

"Olivia?" I repeated.

"Yeah, It started off as 'Jessica', but, uh, it didn't exactly fit. You'll understand when you hear it. John - he's one of our songwriters -"

"I know who John Ryan is."

"Course you do," he grinned, with a roll of his eyes. "Well, he didn't think the name 'Jessica' worked, and we all agreed. Plus, you and I weren't together at the time - it was when you thought I'd been cheating on you with Taylor. We wrote it literally the day before I flew back home for the Big Weekend. I wasn't sure how you'd react if there was potentially a song on the album called 'Jessica', especially as you'd been struggling with the world knowing our business. It would have been as good as confirming our relationship."

"Wow," I laughed shakily, lost for words.

"I still think 'Jessica' in my head when I sing it, though," he added. He fiddled with his phone and I started the car engine and drove slowly through the car park towards the slip road and back onto the motorway as Olivia began.

It was upbeat and cheerful, and when the chorus played Harry sang softly beside me, "I live for you, I long for you, oh Jessica... I've been idolising the light in your eyes, oh Jessica..."

I grinned at him and he grinned back, and apart from changing every 'Olivia' to 'Oh Jessica' he remained silent.

"I like it," I said, when it had finished. "Was that the half-song you wrote, or the whole song?"

"The whole song," he replied. "Walking In The Wind is about missing someone, but a lot of it was written by Julian. And John and Jamie co-wrote it, too." He looked at me as though waiting for me to confirm I knew who he was talking about.

I did.

I nodded.

"I contributed a bit," he continued, "and some of it related to the way I missed you but I still had hope for us. I'd been struggling for a while on how to end the chorus, and then when we were saying goodbye in Cardiff, after we'd walked along the river and talked some stuff through, it came to me."

"What did?" I asked.

"The line I'd been searching for. You'll see..." He tapped on his phone and a new song began to play.

"Beautiful wording," I remarked, as I heard if you're lost just look for me, you'll find me in the region of the summer stars.

"Julian's grandmother wrote that in a poem," Harry said, thoughtfully.