No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

16 - I Know That I'll Be Fine

My trance was interrupted by a text message coming through. My back was aching from sitting in the same position for so long. I stared blankly at my phone for a moment until it registered.

From: Louis Tomlinson: You couldn't have just lied?!

I looked at the words on the screen but they just didn't evoke any of the emotions I would have expected to feel: excitement, nerves, worry, anger... I was just empty.

To: Louis Tomlinson: Don't worry, I told him exactly what happened. I kissed you, you pulled away. I told him not to blame you for any of it

From: Louis Tomlinson: I had it covered! You could have got away with it because the picture was long range! You nugget.

I couldn't even laugh. I felt like a robot; void of all feeling, empty and cold. Dead inside.

To: Louis Tomlinson: No point lying. That's his department. Have a great show tonight. Sorry for everything.

From: Louis Tomlinson: Are you alright?

I didn't reply to this, but instead switched my phone onto silent to get some peace and quiet, and stayed on the sofa all day, the TV on low to keep me company. I checked my phone later on, but he didn't text me again. I knew tonight's show was the last one of the European leg of the tour, and after this they had just over a week off before the next leg began in the US. I didn't want to think about where Harry might spend his time off. I didn't want to think about Harry at all. I didn't know how I ever would again.

I texted Adam that night to cancel our plans for Sunday, as there was no way I could even think about going on a date with him while I was trying to come to terms with Harry's revelations. I was also terrified of being photographed by the paparazzi, especially out on a date with another guy, since I was pretty sure I was now Public Enemy Number One to the majority of the One Direction fandom. I didn't dare look on Twitter, but I risked googling Louis Tomlinson again around teatime and read a few articles that were all regurgitating the same facts about last night.

The pictures Harry had seen accompanied every article. Although it was clear they were taken with a long range camera, it was obvious it was me and Louis. My back was to the camera and I was very close to Louis, our faces seemingly touching. The images were grainy, and I probably could have got away with claiming I was just leaning towards him, but I had already admitted the truth now and I wasn't the sort to lie, anyway. I had dealt with enough secrets from Harry over the short duration of our relationship. I wasn't about to add to the pile with any of my own.

Adam texted me back later on asking if I was free the following weekend instead, and after a few minutes' consideration I agreed to let him take me out on Saturday night for dinner and drinks.

Of course Callie had seen the articles and witnessed first hand Harry arriving at Libertine and persuading me to leave with him, and therefore wanted a blow-by-blow account of the rest of the evening. She barged into my flat on Sunday lunchtime, having told a pap outside in no uncertain terms where to shove his camera, and demanded the full story. And so I spent the best part of two hours reliving everything, from the moment Harry and I left Libertine to the final words we spoke to each other on the phone only twenty four hours earlier.

"So what now?" she asked after she had finally closed her mouth (which had been open in shock the whole way through.)

I shrugged. "I move on with my life," I said. "I was trying to anyway, before I ended up in bed with him again. He'll be in the States for the summer on the US leg of the tour so he will be out of sight, out of mind. And Adam's asked me out next weekend after I cancelled today's plans, so I'm going to see how that goes."