No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

11 - With Him, Slowdancing

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, stepping away from me and quickly averting his eyes. "You just... you looked upset... I didn't mean to... I shouldn't..."

"It's fine," I said, feeling awkward at the wall that had suddenly just sprung up between us again.

We stood in silence for a couple of seconds, not looking at each other, while the music pounded around our ears and people danced either side of us.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine. You?"

"Good, yeah."

"Good."

Silence again, in the noisy, crowded club.

Gary appeared again, holding a glass of Prosecco and a bottle of Budweiser.

"What's he doing here?" he shouted in my ear, ignoring Harry and handing me my drink.

I didn't answer; I didn't want to make Harry uncomfortable by talking about him while he was right there. I glanced over at him and was surprised to see he was frowning at us. He had obviously heard or seen what Gary had said.

He gave a curt nod in Gary's direction, and then looked back at me again.

I didn't know what to do. I had been comforted by Harry's touch, and when I had looked into his eyes I had felt that familiar longing, and I hated myself for it. I should be furious with him, but the feeling just wouldn't come. I had taken all my anger out on Louis, and now I just wanted to hear what Harry had to say.

But why? What would I do if I heard him out? Forgive him? I couldn't. And besides, what good would that do anyway, when he didn't want anything to do with me anymore?

I opened my mouth to speak; I didn't know what I was going to say, but I wanted him to stay. But before I could make a sound he turned away, shoving his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"Take care, yeah?" he muttered, and disappeared through the crowd.

What the hell was that?

I stared after him, open mouthed, and then turned to Gary who was looking at me with a sad expression.

"He - he just left!" I exclaimed.

"Jess, when are you going to get over him?" Gary sighed. "You can't keep letting him toy with your emotions like this. He can't just swoop in and put his arms around you when you're crying over him, and then abandon you two seconds later. It's not fair on you, and you're condoning it every time you let him do it."

"What do you mean, every time?" I demanded. "I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks. And he didn't hug me last time he saw me. He couldn't get far enough away," I finished bitterly.

"I mean figuratively," Gary explained. "He just messes you about, constantly. You're on, then you're off, then he turns up to sort things out, makes some grand gesture to make you fall at his feet, and then breaks your heart again. He's playing you, and you can't see it."

"Why would he do that?" I argued.

Gary shrugged. "Some guys are like that. They need the adoration."

I shook my head. "Harry doesn't want or need any more adoration. He's surrounded by it."

"You deserve better," he said. "I wish you could see that."

I glanced over at the VIP booth, where Harry was laughing at something Niall said, and I watched as they clinked shot glasses and both threw their heads back and downed their drinks.

"He looks devastated," Gary remarked, sarcastically, and for once I didn't have a defence.

I turned away and plastered a smile on my face again. "Whatever. I don't want to think about him again tonight."