No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

13 - Let's Pretend It's Love

I reached between us and began unbuttoning Harry's shirt, and he seemed to have been waiting for a green light like this, because his kisses intensified, setting my senses alight and spreading fire through my body.

I pushed his shirt down over his shoulders and let it drop to the floor and he pulled me up by my hands and shifted position on the bed so I was kneeling up over his lap, bending my head down to kiss him as he crushed handfuls of my hair in his fists, breathing heavily. He found the zip at the back of my dress and pulled it down, before lifting it over my head and casting it aside. His hands were straight back to my hair again and his lips moved urgently against mine, as if somehow afraid I was going to change my mind again and pull away.

As if I would be able to leave him now. I was in too deep, and had been from the moment I caught his eye at that wretched house party. He knew I had no control around him. And now he was using my own weakness against me, holding me ransom. I knew all this, yet I still kissed him back with rivalled intensity, pulling his face close to mine, craving his touch.

He tasted drunk, but he suddenly seemed to have sobered up since things had become sexually charged.

His lips broke away from mine and brushed against my neck and I suddenly realised with burning shame I was wearing a rather unsexy plain white bra and boring knickers. (Obviously I hadn't planned on hooking up with my ex before I'd left the house that evening.) His hands stroked my back and deftly unclipped my bra and I threw it on the floor before he could get a close look at it. My fingers fumbled with the button on his jeans for the second time that night as he slowly pushed me back on the bed again, leaning me against the pillows; and he kicked them off impatiently as I struggled once again to get them past his thighs.

He came to lie between my legs, pressing his hardness against my pelvis as his lips found my right nipple and his fingers found my left. I whimpered his name, and he gave a small moan that I couldn't quite interpret. I brushed his hair back from his face with my fingers, scratching my nails gently over his scalp and he moaned again, definitely in pleasure this time, and closed his eyes. Skating my nails down his back I felt goosebumps rise on his skin and he shuddered as I brought my hands back up his sides and then pulled his face up to mine. His lips met mine with force driven by desire, and I pushed his boxers down and reached for him again, finding him hot and rock hard. He groaned softly.

He slipped my knickers down my thighs and I pulled him between my legs again. I wanted him - I didn't know how much longer I could last without him. I felt him brush one finger against me, and felt his breath against my cheek as he sighed.

A sudden thought occurred to me; one I wanted to push away but knew I couldn't, that should have sprung to mind sooner, but as I opened my mouth to ask him he somehow read my mind and said it for me.

"We can use a condom if you want."

I pulled back an inch, breathing heavily as I stared at him, knowing I had to ask the question, but terrified of the answer.

"Do - do we need to?"

He stared at me for a moment, his breathing matching mine.

"I understand if you want to. After what you said... in Karen's office..."

My face burned in shame as I remembered throwing that cruel remark in his face in the heat of the moment, but at the same time I couldn't afford to take any risks if he had been sleeping around without protection.

"Do we need to?" I asked again.

He hesitated, before replying, "There hasn't been anyone else. Not since..." he trailed off, and I was glad he did. I would have collapsed in tears if I had heard her name fall from his lips. "And you're the only one I've ever... you know... without..."