No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

42 - Make This Feel Like Home

October 2015

I yawned my way through Monday, (after staying at Harry's until gone midnight on Sunday, at his insistence of "just one more brew") and was on countdown to the end of the week when I would see him again. I hadn't heard from him by Thursday, but was in no doubt that we were still on for the weekend in Holmes Chapel since Gemma had added me on snapchat and sent me a video of herself shaking her head vigorously from side to side so I could only see her hair, and squealing in excitement, her cat Olivia looking on in confusion in the background.

I wondered if Harry purposely wasn't texting me first, either in an attempt to play it cool, or to give me space, and it had the presumed desired effect. I was missing him more and more, and since our day together on Sunday I was feeling very differently towards him. The fun we'd had had reminded me of why I'd fallen for him in the first place, and I was looking forward to spending time with him and his family, since the awkwardness had dissipated and the gentle familiarity had returned.

I texted him on Friday morning letting him know I was shopping on Saturday with Callie and would head up to Holmes Chapel in the afternoon to arrive around teatime. He texted back to say this was fine, he would be home after the show, and that his mum, Robin and Gemma were all looking forward to seeing me.

I arranged meet Callie on Oxford Street in the Topshop cafe on Saturday morning, and got the coffees in while I waited for her to arrive. Even before she sat down opposite me I could see she looked glum.

"You OK?" I asked.

"Yeah," she muttered as she slipped her jacket off her shoulders.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, really," she sighed. "Just things are a bit off with James."

"Oh no!" I said. "Why, what's happened?"

"That's just it, nothing," she said flatly, tearing open a packet of sugar and pouring it into her latte. "It just feels different. Like something's changed between us. I can't put my finger on it but it doesn't feel the same as it used to. I can't help thinking that things are fizzling out a bit."

"What?!" I said in dismay. "You're joking!"

"No," she mumbled. "It's been feeling different for a while. It's just that feeling you get when the relationship is coming to an end."

"How long is 'a while'?" I asked.

"Couple of weeks," she said.

"That's not very long," I reasoned. "Maybe you're just going through a rough patch?"

"Maybe," she said, but she didn't look convinced.

She didn't want to dissect it, and was adamant she wanted to go shopping and not think about it all.

"You know what we haven't done this year?" she said suddenly, as we were wandering round the concessions floor of Topshop. "A girls' holiday. With you going off to Cardiff we never got around to booking anything last minute."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's a bit late now though, don't you think? We wouldn't get the best of the weather at this time of year."

"Hmm," she acknowledged, but I could see the cogs whirring in her brain, and I somehow knew it wouldn't be the last I would hear of this.

I ended up buying some new dark skinny jeans and a loose knitted jumper, and decided to take them with me to Harry's to wear on Sunday. Callie and I had some lunch on Oxford Street and then I got the tube back home, packed an overnight bag and made the journey up the M1 and the M6 to Holmes Chapel. It was almost six o'clock by the time I arrived, and as I drove along the country lanes I felt my stomach begin to twist with nerves. I hadn't spoken to Anne or Robin since I'd found out about Harry and Sara, and even though Harry had said his mum was looking forward to seeing me, I couldn't help worrying that things might be a bit awkward at first.