No Control | Holding Me Ransom (Book 2)

18 - Missing You Is All I'm Thinking About

Nicki called me into her office first thing on Monday morning to tell me that she would be sending me to cover the Team Leader role temporarily in Cardiff from 20th July, which gave me two weeks to organise my workload in London and prepare for the move. Sarah and Gary were dismayed when I told them about my plans, and tried to make me promise this was just a temporary move while I got over Harry.

Obviously I couldn't make any promises of this sort, because I simply didn't know how it would turn out. I was determined to grab this opportunity with both hands and see where it led, and I certainly didn't want my career decisions influenced by my feelings towards Harry. I had stayed off Twitter, and scrolled past any One Direction stories on the Daily Mail Showbiz (including one about Harry attending a Fourth of July party in Malibu, where he was dressed all in white and made my breath catch in my throat as the picture whizzed past in my feed.)

Although I was deliberately avoiding all information regarding any of the boys, unfortunately I knew their tour schedule, and was aware their first show on the US leg of the tour was the ninth of July in San Diego. On Friday morning I caught sight of an article about Harry falling over on stage at this concert, and couldn't help myself from playing the video.

It was with amusement that I watched him get his mic stand caught, and take several long strides sideways before collapsing in a heap on the stage during Through The Dark. I watched it several times, before biting my lip and opening Twitter to search for more videos of it. I found it from a few different angles, and chuckled to myself at the sheepish look on his face, and Niall's laugh in the background.

I felt a pang of longing, and had a sudden urge to text him and laugh with him about it, before I remembered I was probably the last person he wanted to hear from, and quickly locked my phone and shoved it into my handbag. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I missed him terribly.

Adam had texted me after our date and asked to take me out again the following weekend, but I was missing home, and instead headed out of London after work on Friday to stay at my parents' house for the weekend. I felt a wave of sadness as soon as I pulled into the driveway as I remembered the last time I had been here it had been with Harry, when he had let me drive his car to hide it from the group of fans waiting on the pavement outside.

I spent the weekend watching chick flicks and eating ice cream with Maddie, and a couple of times I took a sneaky peek on Twitter at some of the 1D Update accounts I used to follow, just to check out pictures of the boys at the Santa Clara show. Harry was looking amazing, of course, and showed no signs of heartbreak or distress, which compounded my determination to move on with my life and forget him.

I was surprised to receive a text from Sarah on Monday night as I was arriving back at my flat after work, that simply said, Twitter. #ZAYNHASNOCHILL

I grinned and opened up my Twitter app to see Zayn was the hot topic of discussion, '#ZAYNHASNOCHILL' was trending and there had apparently been some furious tweets sent from Zayn's account to Naughty Boy. It looked as though that friendship was well and truly over. I imagined Louis' smirk when he saw this latest installment, and felt slightly victorious on his behalf, especially as it had pissed Harry off so profoundly when I had tweeted my support of Louis during Naughty Boy's attack on him back in May. I scanned through the 1D Updates and came across a hilarious (and old) picture of Louis looking particularly smug, so I saved it to my phone and then, feeling reckless, tweeted it with the hashtag.

Instantly my Twitter mentions blew up but I didn't bother to look at them as I knew they would all be asking the same thing: what was going on with me and Harry and Louis. I saw a text come through from Sarah, and then Nicki, and then Maddie, but I didn't open them, and instead went out for a run (something I hadn't done for ages), took a shower when I got back, and then watched a bit of TV before heading to bed.