Barbed Lives ☑️

14. Sellout

"Don't you have a mouth? What if you had fallen somewhere and broken your bones? You're scared of us breaking them, so you're trying to do this to yourself, huh?"
Suddenly Neil started blasting on me with his voice through the roof.

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"Don't think you'll get it so easily. You will give your blood and sweat, but only when asked for, not at your own wish. Don't try to be a hero when you are absolutely nothing."
Neil continued shouting rudely and stealing glances towards the door.

I had no idea what was he doing and why he was so angry at me all of a sudden.
As per training, I looked down while getting scolded.

"You dare not-"
"Let him rest, Neil."
General Warren stopped Neil from slicing my neck with his words.

"Good afternoon, sir."
Both of us wished him at the same moment.

"So you think it's all his mistake?"
"Absolutely, sir. I don't know why would Colonel Reese send such a stupid and dumb person here. He has no thoughts of his own! He does whatever is told to him. If he knew he was about to crash, he could have told anyone."

What the hell is he saying?

Commander looked at him carefully.
He seemed to be confused.
Looked like he didn't want to trust Neil but couldn't help it.

"Just look at his diary, sir."
Neil handed over my diary to him and I gulped my heart down.
Norman has highlighted unaccounted hours on practically every day's entry.
He will be asked about it. And then I'm dead.

"We are Class-I. I agree. But even most of us can't work like this. If any of your agents are put under so much pressure without rest and he's about to shut down, he'll use his brain and mouth to tell before he pulls us all in giving explanations about his state."
Commander looked at the diary and let Neil's words enter his brain.

He nodded slowly and carefully read all my entries.

"But this says that you've been taking his midnight sessions."
Commander accused Neil.

"Sir that is because Major Norman gave me the task of evaluating his post dinner workout stamina. I never noticed his day-time nap until yesterday. I thought he's getting enough rest to make up for the late night sessions."
Neil answered confidently.

I just looked at the movie that was going on in front of me, in a language I didn't understand. You know one of those movies where you begged they had subtitles?
I couldn't understand what exactly were they talking. All I could make out was that I'm not going to be happy soon.

"I don't give a Fuck about it, Neil. Do you think he should be here or not?"
Commander asked him firmly and I held my breath.

"No."
Neil replied confidently and I felt a bout in my throat.

Anger, sadness, loneliness, cheated - these feelings hit me all at once. I just kept seated with my jaw locked tight for the sake of Commander and that bloody i.v. line.

I was stupid enough to put my trust in Neil. Obviously he was one of the players of Norman's team. Best one if you take it. And fucker played well!

"So if you think that he doesn't deserve to be here, why are we here? Let him be sleepless. He took it upon himself for all I care."
Commander said heartlessly.

"There are ways to break him down and make him give up, sir. But these methods will land us in trouble instead of getting him out. Worse even, he'll be given the advantage of our mistakes and you know what it might do. What if he got serious injuries? We are answerable for his health and it would have gone against us because of him! I had no business in his trial but it will call all of us for unnecessary inquiries and we'll have to agree that we went inhuman for him, while he could have given up himself without it."
Neil said calmly.

I wanted to get up and punch his face till his eyes become black.
This fucker was looking for ways to break me and lied to me that he wanted me in.
Such a smooth bastard!

He looked at me briefly. My anger and hate was dripping from my face and my eyes were shooting him glares. He looked at me calmly for a few moments then turned back.

Only after his gaze left me I realised that I offended a senior head on.
Just because he let me call him by his name, I never let the fact leave my brain that he's always my senior. And despite that, I expressed my anger at him by looking directly into his eyes.

I am angry at him, yes. But he has all the right to screw me for just doing this. If I was him, I'd take a good payback from my junior if done to me.

I'm really out of mind right now.
This sudden backstabbing has left me so vulnerable that I'm not able to think clearly and act stupid

"I'd like to meet you in my office in ten minutes, Captain Neil."
Commander said with a small devious smile on his lips and a last glance over me.

He left and Richards followed him out.
Left behind were - a calm Neil and a boiling me.

"I know what you're thinking."
He said.
No shit Sherlock.
I kept my lips sealed. My anger was at the peak where I could jump off grabbing him by his collar.

"Do you trust me?"
He knew the answer still he asked.

"No, sir."
I said with volcanic anger dripping in those two words.

"Expected." he said calmly and then became serious.
"You'll regret misunderstanding me. And I'm going to make you run on that guilt."
He said with a straight face and left.

I was too angry to make any sense out of his words. Once he left, I calmed down a little and went over what he said.
'You'll regret misunderstanding me.'

Misunderstand?
Like there was any scope of that?
He tried to win my trust using all tricks, and even won.

I was starting to blindly follow him. Until today.
He accepted that he didn't want me here - right in front of me! Then why all that he did for me? Why building up a bond that he never planned to keep?
Just why would I misunderstand him when he said it all out clearly?

I heard the phone ring and Richard answering.
"Yes sir, I'll tell him."

Keeping the reciever down, he came to me.
Ensuring that the iv fluid in that bottle was over, he removed the syringe from my hand.
"How do you feel now?"
"Better. Sir."

I wanted to say 'I feel like killing someone'. But I kept my mouth shut knowing nobody is trustworthy here.

"He didn't go against you."
Richard said calmly and I turned to him in shock.

"He's still by your side. He had evaluated you long before you even stepped here. You've been in his sight since then. Keep your guards against everyone, including me if you feel. But not him. He'll sail you through."
Richard said giving me a few tablets.

"I don't trust anyone anymore."
I deadpanned.

"Justified on your part. But he is a man of his words. He told you that he wants you in, he'll make you push through everything to make way till the end."
Richard said laughing and he left too.

If I was confused before, call me a maze right now. What the Fuck is going on?

What do these people want?
I thought they wanted to prove that I'm not good enough to stand among them and that I should go back.
Now what's this new agenda?

Where have I come? What have I signed up for? I didn't expect this!
I have to question my own decision every passing minute. I have to check my own feelings. I can't seem to form a correct opinion!

I need to talk to Neil face to face.
That fucker owes me the answers to all my questions before I smack his head and kick his eyeballs out.
Fuck him for all the commotion inside my skull right now!

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What is Neil upto?
Why is he screwing my James's mind?

And what do you think about my man's reaction? I think it's justified. And yet so mature to not swear in front of the two men. 😁
His brain is haywire and nothing is making sense. If it was any of my other boys, oh hell would have fallen! 😅

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Please VOTE and let those theories keep flowing in the comments section!