Barbed Lives ☑️

56. Wreckage

She was waiting for me teary eyed and my little champ clinging to her from behind. His eyes had fear in them.

It broke my heart to watch him become so scared of me. I hugged Merlen tight and Nick moved further behind her clutching her leg tighter.

"He didn't want me to come, right?"
I asked her still holding her close to me.

"He's just a kid. He doesn't know anything. He believes in what he sees."
She tried to defend her son's hate for his father.

"And I've shown him nothing but anger and fear. His hate is justified."
"J, I know you regret being so harsh to him. If you were here for more time, you'd have compensated by going soft with him. But before you could reach the good cop stage, it's always time for you to leave. You are not a bad father, you're just helpless."

"And now you are defending me. Why? Why don't you let me feel miserable?"
I ask kissing her softly.

"Because you don't deserve to. Now, promise me that you won't raise your voice at Nick this time. He is at an age where he'll form a permanent impression. If he fears or hates you now, it will be very difficult to change his view in the future."
Merlen said pulling back.

"I know, baby. I'll make up for my asshole behaviour all these years. Nick is a part of you and I can't afford to lose him in any way."
I said pulling her back to me again. It always felt great to be in her arms but this time I was scared. I don't know what troubled me but I wanted to be close to her and my son and protect both of them.

After a few moments of melting in her arms, I moved back and kneeled down.
Nick looked at me through his eyelashes.

"Where's my big boy?"
I ask loudly.

Nick stirred and stepped behind her scared.
Merlen laughed at my stupid move and turned to face Nick.

"Nick, look who's here? Dadda!"
She said lovingly.

Nick trusted her and looked at me again.
I opened my arms.
He looked at both of us confused and Merlen pushed him slightly towards me.

Nick was hesitant to come close to me. My heart wrenched to see that. What have I done to my son.

I stepped forward and pulled him towards me. I hugged him tight and kept my face on his little bony shoulder.
"I'm sorry, son. I'm really sorry."
I said meaning each word. I didn't care to hide my shaky voice.

"Strong people don't cry, Dadda."
Nick said ruffling my hair.

I looked at Merlen who looked at Nick proudly. No doubt she taught him that.
"Who told you that?"
I ask him pulling him slightly away.

"Mamma says that!"
He said proudly.

"Your momma is the strongest woman. And you are the strongest boy on earth!"
I said pulling his cheeks.

He smiled in return.
That healed my heart a little.

"So? Where do you want to go during these holidays?"
I asked him jovially.

"Lake Weswik!"
Nick replied instantly with bright and hopeful eyes.

"It's a beautiful sight! Have you seen that lake?"
I asked him excited.
"No! I saw the photo in school! I want to go there!"
He requested.

"What about you baby? Have you seen that place?"
"Once when I was ten. I remember nothing though." Merlen laughed.

"Guess where are we going tomorrow?"
I whispered in Nick's ear.

"Where?"
He whispered back.
I laughed loudly at his naivety.

"Lake Weswik!"
I answered loudly and Nick jumped in joy.
"Yaaaaay! Mamma!"
He turned and ran back to his mother.

I felt jealous to see him choosing his mother to share his moment of happiness with, not me. But I knew I was the one responsible for that.

I promised that by the time I'll go back to work this time, I'll earn his love and trust.

************************************

"Are you keeping your promise, then?"
"Yes I am. I'm taking both of them out tomorrow."
I replied to Neil gleaming.

"That's good."
"What's happening there? Is Lauret comfortable at your place?"

"Yeah. She's in love with Quebene. I think I'll have to come back alone because she doesn't want to go from here."
Neil said laughing.

"Now that's interesting. Hey Neil - keep an eye out for Yazan since you're there. I have a strong feeling that he'll come out soon. He has to be captured before he becomes like his father."
"I'm on it, James. Don't you worry."

************************************

"You did so well, J. It was the best trip of my life! I never knew the lake looks so divine! It was like I entered paradise. Thanks a lot babe."
Merlen kissed me before sitting inside the car.

"How was it, Nick?"
"It was beautiful! Thank you dadda!" Nick came and hugged my leg for a moment. Then he went back to his mom.
My eyes were about to water.

"Big boys sit behind."
Merlen told Nick and he got off her lap and sat on the back seat.

I drove off the lake and headed our way back to home.
I turned around a little to check on Nick when I felt a strong jerk and a loud thump piercing my ears.

I tried to find out what happened when my eyes fell on Merlen whose eyes were shut and her head was bleeding. There was blood over her right eye, flowing down her right cheek onto her neck and below.

I could hear Nick crying. His "Mamma! Dadda!" in between the cries were too loud. I was stuck in a position where I couldn't turn back and even look at him if he's fine. No sound came out of my mouth either.

There was blood coming out of my nostrils. My head hurt so bad that after one point, I couldn't make sense of anything.

Only three words were being screamed in my head over and over- 'Merlen, Nick, Home.'

My sight was stuck on her and my limp body slowly gave away till darkness surrounded me and I lost all contact with time.

There was no light. And there was no sound. I drifted off to sleep.

************************************

I hate to say but it's here.
Next few chapters are going to be tough, but stay with me. I promise you won't hate me.