Barbed Lives ☑️

59. Why does the Sun set?

"Are you leaving?"
Wills asked me innocently.

"I'm going back to work next week. I'll come meet you regularly."
I told the boy who had visited me every single day for past one month and kept Nick safe and healthy.

I got the green signal from Dr Derek.
'You have a strong mind, James. I've never reduced the dose of Antidepressants for any patient as quickly as I did for you. You've healed so much. Keep going like this and you'll be fine without medication.'

"You promise? You'll come back, right?"
Wills asked.

"I promise, Wills. I won't leave."
I could see in his eyes his fear of losing someone important and it only humbled me that a nobody like me is so special for him.

Norman kept his words.
He helped me heal and get my head out of darkness. He'd come often, take me for run, play quizzes, give me dares - slowly shifting from being helpful to his usual asshole self. The pain of not having Merlen with me ever would still hurt but I was able to hold back the tears now.

************************************

I was sleeping.
Again.

I felt a hand holding mine.
The drugs were so heavy it took immense strength to open my eyes.

When I finally lifted my lids up, a familiar face appeared.

"I'm sorry..."
Neil whispered with his eyes red and tears falling from both his eyes.
I haven't seen Neil cry much in past ten years of our friendship. Except Charles' incident, I've never seen his eyes full.

"I.. I should have been careful. I should have stayed in contact with you and sent you protection on time, James. It's all my fault. I'm sorry..."
He apologised with a fresh set of tears.

I didn't respond to his apology.
A little late but he was here. I wanted him to say sorry much earlier.

"I knew Merlen's life was in danger."
He whispered.

"What the fuck are you saying?"
I asked him with the harshest tone I've heard from my throat.

"I knew Yazan will either harm you or your family if something happens to Nubia, his wife. And he did."
He took her name fondly and my doubts were getting clear.
"I figured it out. But how did you know that she was going to die?"

"She shot herself one day before your accident. Earlier than I expected."
Neil said looking down and I couldn't wait anymore.

"Tell me before I kill you, Neil. I'm this close to losing my shit and you know that better than me."
My anger was simmering.

"You deserve to know everything, James. I should have told you earlier. Much earlier. It's all my fault. Charles, Merlen, Nubia, you - it's all on me."
He rubbed his nose and got up.

"I met her at 16 years of age. I was deeply attracted towards her and she kept the conversations going for more than an year. I had started seeing my future with her - a happy and loyal one. I was so blind that I answered all her questions without realising that she was gathering all the info on multiple modern technologies that my king was implementing in his army. I was being taught all of that by Valazire and I was passing on every single word to her like a love struck boy. One day during the chief members meeting, I realised that someone is misusing the knowledge that only we had. I understood what was going on but I did not have the courage to own it up. So I kept mum but decided to cut all ties with Nubia. It's true I had feelings for her but my loyalty towards my kingdom was above her. And that was the day I took that harsh decision. I met her one last time only to find out that she was doing everything because her blind-in-love husband Yazan and his heartless father Arham convinced her to do it for their business to flourish. But then she said that over time she had started liking me because of my innocence and commitment. I was baffled. I fell in love with a married woman who had feelings for me! I was destroying not just her family life but burning the name of Fermins too. I had no option but to end things bitterly. It hurt me but the fact that atleast Yazan will take care of her gave me some peace. I angrily denied for any further interaction with her saying that she misused my innocence and that I will never accept her in my life no matter what. I was gathering courage to come out and accept my mistake in front of Valazire and the King. I probably would have been punished harshly but the matter would have remained a secret and they would have summoned Zahra and destroy all his weapons that he built using our technology.