The Midnight Mafioso [#2]

82|sadness

Three Years later.

**

I flushed the toilet and reached for the sink. The water I left flowing splashed in my hands, causing a shiver to run down my spine. Another sixth pregnancy test and nothing new. Maybe the kits had some issue somewhere. 

My eyes met the reflection in the mirror. I could have heard my inner self trying to conclude something but I feared the reality. The reality is that I might not bear kids. That's what the pregnancy test kits were proving to me.

Last year, I decided I needed to settle and give Dmitri a baby. Though I tried to do some tests, it never scared me like it did now. It's been three years since our wedding and I took two years to enjoy my life and do everything. Dmitri was patient, ever since we spoke before our marriage, he was okay with it. 

He still thought I needed more time but no, it has been months since I stopped using contraceptive pills. Months of sex, but nothing.

Fear sabotaged me last month, and I made sure to mark the date of our wild sex again. It's been a month, but signs.

A knock caught me jerking as I hastily turned off the running water. My heart knocked its way into my chest, making me breathe rapidly.

“Baby?” Dmitri’s voice echoed from the door. I quickly grabbed the test kit and shoved it in the bin. I checked around to confirm nothing suspicious before I washed my face. “Inna, are you okay?”

“Yes.” I gathered myself together so as not to look like the fear inside me was eating me slowly. “Just a second.”

“It's been an hour.” He said. “Can I come in?”

I did not realize it. I took a towel and wiped my face then went for the door. He was ready for work. Dressed in nice pants and a white dress shirt. 

His brows flashed upwards once I stepped out. He scrutinized me in a suspicious manner that made me look away. “I'll get dressed.” I brushed beside him towards the dressing room but he grabbed my hands and drew me back. Stepping into me, he cupped my cheeks and settled for my eyes. I was sure they held the fear in them.

“Okay, do you want to talk about it?” He asked and my heart stalled a beat. 

“About… About what?”

“What's bothering you? You look restless, something is happening. Is this about work?”

I tried to flee from his hold but I failed. “No. Dmitri. I am fine.”

“Baby—”

“I am fine.” I grabbed his hands and shoved him off. “I am fine. I will get dressed.” I hated the fact that I had to shout so I wouldn't tell him what was happening. I feared that he would know I had been trying to get pregnant but was unable to. It scared me.