M and M

Chapter-39

Coming back home, I went straight to my room. I didn't want anyone seeing my face all red and blotchy and suspecting anything.

And today being my doomsday I had to prepare well and good. My mom had already left the dress and jewelry on my bed to get ready when I was out.

The engagement was in the evening so I started getting ready before anyone could barge into my room and order me left and right. When I was done with my makeup, I picked up my dress and went straight to my grandmother's room. I will wear the dress later.

I and grandma were reminding our old days together, and I was also helping her get ready along with that when she stopped me and asked me to sit with her for a minute. We still had an hour before the guests started arriving and the function started. We hadn't invited many, just a few close relatives who could come on such short notice.

"Ma, you don't look happy." She noticed, looking at my face, making me nervous. I tried smiling to show her that I was ok, but I couldn't even put up a fake smile properly as it ended up in a grimace.

"Gran, it's nothing like that. I am just sad that I won't get to see you dance today." I joked, trying to divert the topic. She always told me that she would dance in all my functions.

She held my hand, "Child, tell me what's the matter. I thought after your trip, you would be more accepting of this marriage thing. You don't like Prashant?"

"Uhh, Gran... He is a nice guy." I tell her slowly, thinking twice before saying anything in front of her. The woman is intuitive.

"But you don't like him like that." She states as a matter of fact. "There is someone else. Isn't it?"

Well, I'll be damned. Is she bluffing to see I would crack or does she really knows?. God, what should do? Should I tell her the truth at least? Maybe If I don't tell anyone, I would regret it. I should woman up a little and just say it.

"NO!.. no" I freaked out wanting to shut down her line of thought.

"Really? Are you sure?" She asked in a scrutinizing tone.

"I... umm, I-I don't know if I should tell you this gran, but I love someone" I couldn't even complete my sentence without stammering, but when I did my head whipped to the right, as my grandmother slapped me pretty hard. For a dying woman, she sure had the strength.

I wasn't shocked in the least. I already expected this kind of reaction but not from her. I thought she would start with her bad mouth but I never tight she would raise her and at me, at least not in the condition she was in. Rubbing my cheek, I turned facing her, my head bowed down a little.

"If you love somebody else, then why are you marrying this guy?" She scolds me.

"He is not from here gran, nor is he from our community," I said my voice small.

"Ok. So?" She asks me incredulously. Did she not see the issue here? What's going on?

"Gran, he is not even Indian."

"Ok. So?"

"Gran! don't you see where I am going with this? Maa and papa always talked about finding me the perfect groom from the same background and community ever since I was little. You know that. They don't believe in love marriage nor do you." 

"Oh! child, I am older than both of them, you should listen to me. Never, ever let others decide for you Mahi. They are your parents, they do what they think might be right for you. They are not psychic you know. But you are doing this, just to make them happy instead of urself." She says slowly, catching her breath every once in a while.

"They raised me, you raised me, I don't want you guys to be ashamed because of me or because of what I do. " I murmur sadly. This was the main thing I was afraid of.

"I know you are worried about what others might think and say because your parents care about that but Ma, I am about to die, your parents are not getting any younger. You are the one who has to live with the choice you make, not me, not even your parents."

I open my mouth to say something but she continues,

"I lived my life, they are living theirs. Now you live your own."

Now, what does she wants me to do? She is very cryptic. I look at her frowning, indirectly asking her what to do, but she just raised her eyebrows at me.

"What should I do now? It's already late gran." I cry out worried. I should have talked to her in the morning itself. Ugh!. I am such a chicken sometimes.

"Nothing is ever too late dear and it's just an engagement. These things get canceled all the time Ma, I'll handle it ." She says winking at me mischievously.

Now you guys know where I get my naughty side from. I and my grandma were a duo. Back in my school days, we used to come up with different ideas to prank people.

"Really? Thank you soo much Gran. I love you." I say hugging her.

"Ok, ok, now leave me. You are suffocating this old little lady." She fake coughs patting my back. I learned the acting part from her as well.

"Ok, Gran but I want to know how come you of all people, are supporting me in this. You always frowned on children who went against their parents." I ask her a little bit confused.

"Well Ma, those children never talked to their parents and ran away without thinking about the outcome. You on the other hand are ready to sacrifice your happiness for us. I'll tell you this, I did the same thing you were about to do but it's not late for you yet. I don't want you to be miserable like me. " She tells me shocking me even more.

"You loved someone else? " I asked baffled. "I thought people those days were even afraid to talk to the opposite gender outside the family. "

"Hmm, I did but I did not dare to tell anyone. Though I had a good marriage and wonderful children, it did not have love in it. I love all my children but I still wonder sometimes. How my life would have been if I had married the man I loved." she says wistfully looking out the window.

"Gran-"

"The what-ifs always haunt you through your life, if you are powerful enough you move on. If not then..." she trails off.

I look at her imagining living this long with someone you barely loved and then spending your last moments thinking about what you lost. I would never want to suffer the same fate nor I would wish it for someone else. I am lucky to have a person in my life who is supporting me not to make that mistake.

"But I love you more than anyone else darling," I say cheekily, kissing her on her cheek. I was trying to distract her from her gloomy sad thoughts and that ought to do it.

"That you do dear, that you do," She says smiling at me. "By the way, is it that tall guy with blue eyes?" she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at me.

"Yes, yes it's him," I say smiling shyly. This was the first genuine smile I had had in the last 2 days. "How did you know?".

"It was the look in his eyes Ma. Every time you were talking to me, he was looking at you. That boy is completely smitten with you." She says chuckling.

I giggle like a schoolgirl hearing that.

She laughs at my reaction "You didn't tell him about today, did you?"

"I... Uh... I told him to go back and a bunch of other stuff" I said sheepishly looking at her, feeling ashamed of the way I handled things.

She whacked me again.

"You stupid girl! Now go, get your parents here. I need to talk to them." She orders me, pushing me from my sitting position.

I run out of the room following her instructions. That is to look for my parents. I hope whatever she does, does not make them unhappy.